I`m so sick to my stomach I could throw up!!!! On top of everythig else I have been through with this man for 31 years I did get to the truth of him and my sister!!!! She accused him of approaching her last year when she lived with us, I really did`nt believe(or didnt want to) her but in the back of my mind I guess I knew she was telling the truth. So I dissed my sister for a year. The signs were there to I guess, the looks he gave her when he didnt think I was looking. She has come back into the family and we started talking and I asked her again what had happened. By what she told me I knew she really was`nt lying. My FWH was nervous knowing I was talking to her on the phone hanging by the door listening. Trying to hear every word. Sis and I finished our talk. To what I had to ask hubby, he had an excuse. What my sis told me about FWH is only what I would know about him sexually. What makes me even sicker is he offered to pay her!!!! I told him to get out he won`t go, I told him he had a sexual addiction that he needs help. To be honest with you ppl I think I!m the one who is actually the sick one here for putting up with this stuff for so many years.


So I guess I should tell how this went down. Sis has been a crack addict for years Bi=Polar also. We let her move in 1 yr ago to try and help her. While she stayed with us I slept out in the livingroom with her not FWH. I was with her 24/7,always making sure she tooks her meds ect. H,sis and I have known each other since we were young. This one nite I had given her meds to her they knock her out cold and she was left sleeping on the couch and went to my bed after months of not sleeping there. FWH was asleep. Next morning sis is irritable, hyper wanting to leave but does`nt say why. So she does move out. She does that alot no matter where she lives. Days later she asks me if my other sister has told me anything. So what it boils down to is she states FWH had said sexual things to her on the couch and wanted her to do things with him, he had denied it at that time last year saying she wants me out of here so she can come back in. I had no proof. But this was not the first time in many years that she had accused him of stuff.

Now fast forward 1 years she is back around repeating to me the same thing. He NOW states he could`nt sleep went and made coffee, she woke up had coffe and laid on the couch. He states he went into the living room and turned on the tv and and on came the porno channel that had scribbles on it and he said he was looking for the weather channel which is 30 channels below that one. He asked her if she ever did anything like that and she said I don`t get into that. So HE says he was kidding with her and nothing happened.

Sis states he came in sat down next to her and started rubbing himself and saying what he would like to do to her and she told him she was going to wake me up and HE said J will get mad at you so she went into the kitchen to get away from him. Sis states he left for work.
I get them together yeasterday. She says the same thing in front of him. He says he was just kidding. That he was sorry. He says I am making a BIG deal out of nothing because nothing happened. he says he dont remember sitting on the couch that he sat in the recliner!!! This is how he always acts when caught at something. Sis had told me how years ago he would bring milk over to her house and would say he would be back after work and she would say Im not getting into that, dont come by. He had told me he had always felt sorry for her and that he felt the family was always hard on her. He would see her on the streets, stop her and ask if she needed money. FWH still today says he was kidding with her and nothing happened. I`m so sick to my stomach. I know in my heart he would have done something if she would have let him. I know he is lying to me. I told him there is something wrong with him and there is help for him. He denies it.

bump

FWH does`nt want a divorce, so I set him up for a Polygraph which he took. 5 questions is all that was allowed. He passed them all. The question about my sister does not prove that he did`nt want her to do something sexual for him, all it did prove was they did`nt have sex. Gotta watch your questions there. Now after questioning him sitting on the couch with her.........he states, IF I sat on the couch next to her(in his pajamma`s) I did`nt sit there long. What does theat mean? He knows if he sat on that couch with her or not and he knows why he sat on that couch in the dark as oppposed to sitting in the recliner. He now says he knows the questions he asked her sounded terrible and he says he should`nt have asked them. he says the reason he did`nt tell me the truth about this a year ago was because we had other issues going on and he didnt want to be in trouble for that. I told him our issues were and is still his lieing. That he needs to be transparent about everything. He just can`t get the hang of it. I just don`t knkow what to do. I`ve been thinking about another Polygraph.

((( aptiva )))

where do you have polygraphs taken ? I have thought of it a million times... sounds like this one might not have been too reliable though... it certainly sounds like he had some intentions with your sister... don't you think ?

Bless you honey, car

Carnation you can have them done in your home,lawyers office ect. Mine was done in the home. Only 5 questions were allowed, but i did have many more. The main question was in 31 years of marriage to J were you faithful? Yes I do know he had intentions with my sis which he denies,but I will ask him again and if he denies, I will see how he feels about another polygraph, I`m sure that will make him nervous. He right now thinks everything is cool.NOT! The Examiner was very experienced, excop,Now PI and Polygraph Examiner, 28 years.

Aptiva...Welcome to MB.

By reading your post, I have flash backs to when I found out each time my H was lieing or having A. It definately makes you sick to your stomache. It sounds like your H is fishtailing.

Just a little history...Married 13+ years and H has had many affairs. We are currently seperated for other reasons, however H last affair was 5 yrs ago. We have one small child together.

Just a few questions
1. Do you want your marriage?
2. Do you believe your own intuition as well as your sister?
3. Is this the first time your H has done something like this?

Somebody told me in a previous post to ask myself some questions like "Do I see myself in this situation with him in 10 years?" The poster advised me to set a time line and really made me see that I didn't deserve certain behavoirs and they were right. I deserve to be treated with respect and trust and honesty.

I wish you all the best and hope this helped.

No I don`t want this marriage anymore I have tried for too many years. Hubby has always tried to fishtail his way out of many affairs and I guess by taking him back each time I said it was ok. Mu sister ,yes I do believe her because in her statement she mentioned something about him only I would know,he has admitted to most of that nite, but not what he wanted her to do. I do believe he has a sexual addiction and has had this for some time. Thank you for responding.