My wife's A is not a new thing to her. Her last partner suffered the same thing only many more times,me being one of the A's. We met and have been together ever since,thats been over 5 years now.She's been faithful all along until a week ago.She had a 1 night stand were she gave oral sex to another man,than told me about it 4 day's later. She say's she mad a huge error in judgement by letting flirtatious behavior go too far.She say's it will never happen again and is totally comitted to me.She told me all about her A's comitted on her last partner when we first decided to stay together and become a couple, so i knew what she was like then.She swears she isn't like that anymore and wants us to remain married.I am so terrified the old her is not gone,but only been buried for 5 years and is now resurfacing.SO CONFUSED,SO SCARRED,HELP

Well....... you might want to try a healthy relationship with someone who is not a serial cheater. You could grow up as well.

As the saying goes, "if they do it with you they will do it to you"

She is not worth it.

I don't see what the race of the OM has to do with anything but I digress. Your wife seems to be a serial cheater since you stated that her last partner had to put up with her numerous affairs. The fact that you "got her" as the result of being an OM does not bode well for your chances. It's been stated time and time again on MB: The survival rate of relationships that start with affairs is around 3%

Now that you know all of that you have to process the fact that your relationship is the product of an affair and the fact that you WS is a serial cheater. I know that you have a child with her but that doesn't mean that you have to stay married to a serial cheater. There are way to many diseases out there to take those kinds of chances with your life. She performed oral on some random guy? Yuck, what if she had got herpes and brought it home to you?

You need to calm down and start giving some much needed thought about whether your WS can change because most serial cheaters do not change.

You do not need to trust her. She has given you NO reason to trust her and it would be absolutely foolish of you to do so. I would be highly suspicious of her speedy willingness to admit that she is at fault and her excuses for her cheating ways.

It sounds to me like she is a go-along-to-get-along type but that she fully intends to carry on as soon as you calm down.

You should start with Plan A but you have to put your foot down. She must quit her job. If you can manage it a move to a new town or state will help. You must insist that gets a full STD screening and HIV test. You must use condoms for all SF because you have no idea what kind of diseases she may be allowing herself to be exposed to and the last thing you need is some disease.

I wish you the best of luck.

I hate to break this to you but a person's past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. She had a history of cheating on her previous partner with various men including you. She marries you and now gives another man a blow job claiming her flirting went to far. What is wrong with this picture? Do you think she would be as accepting as you if the roles had been reversed? You married a person with a broken moral compass. I am afraid that she engages in flirtatous behavior even though she is married indicates that this will probably continue to happen in the future. I feel sorry for you.

The story of the Scorpion and the Frog immediately comes to mind...

I have read the 4 responses to my plea for help.I fully expected to hear what i did and wasn't shocked.One of the responses however made me think, is her behaviour posibily linked some past trauma;childhood issues? The comment from ManInMotion stirred some questions when he mentioned the story of the frog and the scorpion.I had never heard of the story so I looked it up and read it.Then I wondered if her actions were an act of self destruction arising from past trauma.Iposed a few questions and found this to quite posabily be so.Some other things i found were that she associates plastic affection with self worth,(PLASTIC AFFECTION)-Being told those things that unfortunately many men say to get what they want.This being said,if someones self worth is clouded they would make a perfect target.We talked about her childhood and several other issues and concluded that she needed to seek some professional tharapy to discover the truth to her actions and wether they and our marriage could get beyond this whole mess.I know people will think and say that I'm a fool and cut my losses and move on but I just don't know if that advice is right or wrong.In my heart I feel that she realy does love me and does not want to be the person that she has been. I do know that the past 5 plus yrs. have been absolutely wonderfulwith her and she has been very happy.Everyone that knows her always comment on how cheery,helpful and optimistic she is about life's downers. So in conclusion i just want to say thanks to the respondents be they neg. or pos.I will still look forward to any further comments regarding our situation.Finally I have decided (Fool I pray i;m not)to stick itout in belief that therapy will save her from her self destructive way and in return help save our marriage