Hi Pep,

Don't we all have at least one pic we LOVE to pieces?

I have to say, I LOVE my face right now.

I love my dimples that show even when I'm NOT smiling! It means I've smiled ALOT in my life.

I love the line between my eyes that says I've suffered alot too, but have weathered through.

I love the stretch marks that remind me of my pregnancies, and I loved being pregnant.

I love my eyes... my grandmother's eyes... and my wrinkly hands, which also look like hers (they tell me it's the daily steroids I take for my asthma).

I even love my droopy breasts... because I know far too many women (including my mother and close high school girlfriend) who have had breast cancer.

I guess, in the end, I am just thankful to be alive, and wanted to jump into the thread about "whatever" to say that.

I'm cute.


Now I have to go work. On something. You know, paycheck things.

I don't trust natural either -

Uranium is 100% natural
Also:
Arsenic
Asbestos
and to skip down the alphabet
Rattlesnakes

Gravity is natural too, and it's as dangerous as anything I've ever run across.

Be careful Weaver. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

SS

Well no one would even know you were 57 if you didn't keep telling them.

Remember when it was incredibly impolite to discuss a ladies age?

Just be 38 Pep... won't be as cute as 18 though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[color:"red"] WEAVER[/color]

He thinks he can shake his fishing rod in your direction and then reel you in like a trout

Pep

[color:"red"]NBII [/color]

consider yourself *kissed*

Appy, go ahead and start barfing. I don't know what kind of scam he is pulling now, but I was getting calls asking for him as the Rev.

It'll never happen Pep. I used to be a trout but not anymore.

the Reverend Roadrash

You know?

2day we went back and forth a bunch of times with our lawyers and stuff over that house my SIL has been renting and wants 2 own. And I think we're going 2 cut our losses and sell it 2 my SIL for what she can afford and be done with the whole horrible experience.

My W learned that her mom - who sided with my SIL in her lawsuit against us - has been taking road trips in2 the mountains and deserts and just sleeping in her car 2 escape the feud. She's 74, and her health (and certainly her behavior) has deteriorated markedly since we last saw her last summer. Recently, someone tried 2 steal the license plates off the car in the middle of the night, while she was sleeping in it.

She has a nice apartment right across the street from the house my SIL wants 2 buy, so it makes no sense that she's doing this. She's not even staying in campgrounds, which I could understand and sympathize with, 2 a degree.

We even lined up a realtor, who's been in the house and estimated its value for us, even came up with a strategy for listing it at a price 2 entice buyers 2 bid the price up. We'd have done well, even at the starting price point.

Instead, we're going 2 sell it 2 my SIL for considerably less money. But if we roll over the investment 2 avoid capital gains tax, and we're not paying a realtor commission, it's not so horrible - only about 30-50K in2 the ether.

I'd be really concerned if my SIL was planning on "flipping" the house right away for a tidy profit. But after talking 2 my W and the lawyer about it, I think the price my SIL is offering really is all she can qualify for, and she really does want that particular house.

So, I'm willing 2 get this over with once and for all.

I'm mostly interested in my W's welfare. I can't even consider my MIL's behavior, because I don't believe whatever's wrong with her will stop just because we "gave in" 2 my SIL's desires.

But my W is really hurting from all this. She cried on the phone when we talked a bit ago. And it wasn't just about this house and the lessons we're learning from this experience. It's about "our fights" over the past 5 years over our "problems" as well.

She said, probably for the umpteenth time in the last 5 years, that she almost hopes she doesn't get this faculty job so she can move 2 OOSP and get away from ALL of us. That if money is the important thing 2 all of us (me included), that she'd just as soon let us have it all and leave for good.

Problem is, I care about her hurting. But I don't care whether she stays or goes. Because she still must believe she and RM are just friends.

-ol' 2long

You sell SIL this house .. she will STILL try to screw you over in the future .... just keeping your feet on the ground , my friend... with entitled people ... NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED

whatever you do .... SIL will feel you did not do enough

Nor will your MIL. You are a very good man, 2long.

BTW, how much do you know about the legalities of rolling over the profits to avoid capital gains? We are preparing our rental property to sell. I hate being a landlord in LA when the rent doesn't cover the mortgage. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Believe me, folks, I know it won't be enough. I've argued till I'm blue in the face - till I even feel like the bad guy - and I get nowhere.

The good news is that, even in the best of times, I maybe saw my SIL once a year. I expect that frequency will drop considerably now.

I'm tired of all of this [censored]. I want out.

FF:

I'm not sure I know enough yet, only that capital gains these days is "only" about 15% of the profit. If you roll it over in2 another rental, you're gonna be okay. But if you don't, you'll have 2 pay. I'm just not sure what the gray area might be. If I can, I'd like 2 buy a cabin in the mountains, but unless we plan 2 rent it out at least occasionally, I'm not sure it'll qualify.

-ol' 2long

What is a 1031 Real Estate Exchange?
Capital Gain Tax Information
Under normal circumstances, when you sell a property you have to pay tax on the gain. Gain is caused by taking depreciation deductions for tax purposes or by the property appreciating in value during its ownership.

A Section 1031 tax deferred exchange, named for the Internal Revenue Code Section it refers to (also known as a Starker Exchange, Tax Free Exchange, or Like-Kind exchange), allows an exception to the real estate capital gains tax. When you sell your business or investment real estate, replace it with a different business or investment property, and complete a 1031 exchange, you can defer payment of the capital gains tax normally required on these sales. You can also avoid capital gains tax on rental property capital gains tax.

If your plans include using the money from the sale of a business or investment property to buy more of the same, a 1031 real estate exchange provides greater proceeds for your next investment-more than you could gain through the re-investment of after-tax proceeds.

A 1031 and the Capital Gain tax rule is not a tax loophole. It is a section of the Internal Revenue Code, written by Congress, to allow anyone who meets all the requirements to sell their property and defer paying taxes on the gain.

Understanding the Capital Gains Tax Rule and Avoiding the Capital Gains Tax

All relinquished (old) and replacement (new) property must be vacant land, rental property or property used for trade, business or investment. The property must be held for at least a year and a day to qualify for a 1031 Exchange. If the properties meet these requirements, you may exchange any real estate for any other type of real estate.

You cannot have actual or constructive control of any of the proceeds received from the sale of the old property. By law, all money is held by a Qualified Intermediary (also referred to as an Accommodator or Facilitator). You cannot have an associate or employee, your attorney, broker or CPA hold the proceeds, nor can you leave the proceeds in escrow until the second property is purchased.
You have 45 days from the date of closing on the old property to identify a list of properties, from which you will purchase the new property.
From the date of closing, you have 180 days to close on one or more of the properties from your 45-day list.
The titleholder on the old property must be the same titleholder on the new property.
You must reinvest all cash proceeds from the sale, and purchase a new property or properties of equal or greater value, in order to avoid taxation on the gains.
Keep it simple. Allow an IXG consultant to handle all of the exchange details for you

Thanks weaver <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Anytime Faith!

Make sure on your "list" of potential replacement investment properties, you list several (at least 3) because if you only list one and it falls through, you are scr*wed.

Also, make sure you have the monies from the sale held by a party approved by the 1031 exchange rules.

If I live in my small house for two years again before I sell, I avoid the capital gains tax and don't have to reinvest the proceeds.

Faith,

If your marriage is in a precarious place, would it benefit you to hang onto the rental as a possible place for one of you to live should you divorce? Or is it not bringing in any rent right now?

"I'm not sure I know enough yet, only that capital gains these days is "only" about 15% of the profit. If you roll it over in2 another rental, you're gonna be okay. But if you don't, you'll have 2 pay. I'm just not sure what the gray area might be. If I can, I'd like 2 buy a cabin in the mountains, but unless we plan 2 rent it out at least occasionally, I'm not sure it'll qualify."


2, Send all your lucre to me. I'll defer your capital gains for you. In fact, I'll make sure you have a big loss to claim on your tax return. Yeah, that's it! I'll save you even more $$ by providing you with a big loss to deduct! So, send it right on over.

Anything for a friend...

Actually, I have a similar problem with estates and inheritances. You think capital gains are complicated? Try inheritance taxes. At least my family is planning ahead.

Weaver, the rental is a triplex. Not suitable for either or us to live in as the biggest unit is upstairs making it impossible for DS to get into. Right now we are on the losing side due to rent control though we have done well in property value over the past 3.5 years. It was ok for a time as we invested in this with my BIL whose contribution was the $$ difference between the mortgage and the rent. BIL has cancer and can no longer make those payments. We can no longer afford to carry the difference either, especially with H paying CS each month.

We will be looking for replacement properties and thanks for the tip on having at least 3 identified. Property is quite expensive here and I do not want to deal with rent control any longer so I think we will look outside the city limits and for either a house or a duplex. That would answer the question for the future as well of "what if we separate or D?".

Funny, since I mentioned my marital woes he has done a bit of a turn around of coming clean about things, about expressing his regrets over his actions AND telling me that though he wants to be married to me he is not sure he is truly capable of loving anyone. Says he did not feel "love" for OW except maybe in the beginning. Pep's theory of the OC sit turning into kind of foot in each family scenario seems to fit here. Once he got tired of trying to do so and got tired of OW's demands THEN he was ready to go NC with her. Three years of pain for me and my COM while he tried to appease two women and his own guilt.

I am tired. I want to be loved and cherished but yet feel compelled to provide my children with two parents in the same home AND follow my beliefs. It is such a quandry. So for now, I am ok. Not happy but ok.

"I am tired. I want to be loved and cherished but yet feel compelled to provide my children with two parents in the same home AND follow my beliefs. It is such a quandary. So for now, I am ok. Not happy but ok."

I recommend you do for you what I am doing for me:

Live life to the fullest, but ethically and morally.

Start doing for you. Comrade, from my own 5 year plan (in no particular order):

Become current in private pilot licence again
Take lessons and get good at the banjo again
Save up for a Harley and ride, ride, ride
Get my Spanish back up to proficiency
Start a masters of theology
Achieve next major career objective
Write all these papers I've been putting off
Attend international conferences
Attend every DS school function - be THE involved parent
Ski every major area in the west with DS before he goes to college
Keep a daily journal
Help everyone I can in whatever I can
Smile at everyone all the time
Get a wonderful prayer life and be closer to God
:
:

There is more to this list. I am about 1/3 the way through. It feels great. I am not tired any more at all.

With prayers,

Great advice, Appy. Thank you. I DID decide after this latest revelation from H that I would do as dear Pep has tried to get me to do...focus on the man above, myself, my children and living MY best life. I am sad that I wasted the last 5 years being hurt by all this crap. That doesnt even count the 2 years I wasted on MY OWN crappy adultery. I could not focus or function til this OW was out of my life and marriage.