my wife of 12yrs had a physical affair 6yrs ago with my then best friend, but i just found out about it 4 months ago. i was trying to let that go when i found out she has been having an emotional affair for over a year and she said it just ended jan 07. i am very unhappy now and have no trust left in her. she has showed no remorse or regret about what shes done and that is making it hard to get past this. she wants me to take most of the blame and i will take some blame because i know i am not the perfect husband but i would never cheat on her. counseling is not an option because she should have thought about counseling before she cheated. the only reason i am home now is because of our 3yr old. i guess what i need to know is will i be able to ever gain trust and be happy again with her or is it time to let it go and rebuild my life, concentrating on my child more. thanks for any advice it will mean more then you know, rc.

it's not your fault. and you should go to marriage counseling.
i'm sure others will have more advice, but that's a start.

good luck to you.

Is counseling an option for you?

Don't take the blame for the A. If she is blaming you, she is still a WS and you need to take proper steps to protect you and your family from the WS.


L.

An unrepentent spouse is a wayward spouse. And a wayward spouse cannot be trusted. Your wife needs to remember that even if you were the worst husband in the world....that she had hundreds of choices to address that problem besides throwing away her integrity and putting your whole family at risk.

Welcome to MB. Please read about Plan A and B. If your wife remains unremorseful....and refuses counseling....it won't be easy to recovery your marriage. Accept 50% of the responsibility for the vulnerable state of your marriage....and ZERO percent responsibility for the destructive choices your wife made to become a cheater. If you were less than a perfect husband....there are all kinds of healthy and ethical ways to rebuild the marriage.

Get the book "Surviving an Affair"....it will help you sort through some of this confusion.

Welcome to MB. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />