Hello!
I would appreciate any advice here- my husband and I have been married about 9 months. Prior to getting married, I knew my husband had a lot of friends from college- he went to a Christian college and didn't have a girlfriend until he was 27- which means all that time he spent with his college buddies. He never was very settled down- always traveling here and there to meet with friends- and never really having to work (he has family money). I met some of them on a few occassions- they were very clicky and not friendly at all- his best friend, who I was really looking forward to meeting, wouldn't speak, much less look, at me- at any of the occassions. I tried to initiate conversation- to noavail.
Before marriage my husband told me to talked to these friends- who all live out of state- about once a month.My husband makes excuses for his friends not being nice to me.
Since then, I have found out that my husband phones these friends at least twice a week and he tells me that he misses them and wants to go see them.
Being uprooted from my home town and moving out of state to marry my husband, and having travelled non-stop for the past year, I told my husband I would like to settle down in our home and make a home and a life with him. He wants to start trying for a baby!
My problem is is that I don't feel like he's really ready to settle down- he's always ready to hop on a plane and take off to see a friend- he says he'll grow apart from his college buddies in time naturally, but I don't know if I believe he ever will. Our latest argument is that he wants to go to a bachelor party for one of his not so good friends- because his better friends will be there and he misses them. (I don't believe in bachelor parties!) I don't think a man who is ready to settle down with his wife misses his college buddies and needs to go see them- because I am ready to settle down with him and I'm not having a hard time being away from my family who I was very close to. I don't know if I should wait to have children with him until I know for certain he can settle down, or if having children will instigate settling down in him.
Additionally, he just told me that he seeks marital advice from these friends when we're fighting. He previously told me he never would do that- and I don't either. I feel betrayed that he goes to his friends- who haven't been so much as polite to me- for marital advice and then defends them for being rude. He says they view him as a brother and are jealous of me.
I would greatly appreciate any one's advice, ideas, or experiences here.

Thank you!

My guess is that the reason they are cold to you is things he has told them when he was seeking relationship advice before you got married.

He should not be talking about your relationship issues with ANYONE other than a trained counsellor or marriage coach.

Having a baby doesn't change much of anything. If your husband is too attached to his buddies before the baby, then the best you can hope for is that he'll want to bring his son with him when he and his buddies hang out. Babies never solve any problems, and the dramatically less energy the woman has after having a baby often complicates problems.

You might want to read a really good book that can help you through this. It is "Marriage Fitness" by Mort Fertel. Here is the book on Amazon.com - http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Fitness-Building-Maintaining-Phenomenal/dp/0974448001 There is a section in the "Save Yourself" section that is all about what you describe here. This is a very helpful book, worth buying and reading!

Thank you so much for your help! I'm out the door to get the book right now!