Gee, this post is a little old, but here goes...
AREN'T YOU THE LEAST BIT SORRY FOR CHEATING ON YOUR HUSBAND! Yeah, the poor guy has no clue b/c you've built up this wall of secrecy & mystery around you. I completely disagree w/ your therapist, you MUST CONFESS to your husband about your A. Otherwise, your marriage will just go in circles, as you probably will not get over OM easily, and be vulnerable to having another A.
Yeah, your husband might leave you, tough. Deal with it, take responsibility for your actions, and be prepared to ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES. Stop the lying, deceit, and dishonesty. If you are truly remorseful for the A, then tell your husband the truth, and give him a sincere chance to finally "get" what has been wrong in your marriage for so long.
On the other hand, your husband says he loves you. He may love you enough to forgive this betrayal, and the both of you can truly begin to heal your marriage. Of course, don't expect him to be forgiving right away, but by confessing to him, he will finally be awoken up to the reality of how severely in trouble your marriage is.
It is time you stop keeping your H in the dark if you truly want to work on your marriage.
FWH, BS (me), 43 BS, FWW, 42 DS 20, 13
PAs With W's Sister's Friend & Prostitute - SF Only (me), 1992-93 Married July 1994 Hit On W's Underage Sister & Close Friends, 1996-98 I Confessed Everything, Spring 1998 My D-Day, Jan. 2007 She Moved Out, Feb. 2007 Filed For D 4/18/07 For Legal Protection, Did Not Pursue
FWW Moved Back Home 08/05/07 Status: I'm Not Sure (original thread of my sitch lost)
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