Wife started EA on 1/31 with her boss. Told me on 2/3. She is adament about a divorce. The OM's wife made her promise not to talk to him for 1 week (until 2/27). On the first day I saw she called him twice by looking at her phone log and I caught her e-mailing from home with work account. One e-mail said "she felt comfort knowing he will always be there holding her hand". The other one said "Mike is trying to guilt me into staying by making me nice dinners, cleaning the house. taking care of kids." When confronted she denied it. She cannot lie to me and it was apparent on her face (she giggles when she lies). Plus, I knew. It got a little heated and my 4 year old got scared. I have been trying to do Plan A for about 10 days and have probably not made it one day without getting a little upset. Even though I know that MB is the only plan that could work, I can't get over the lies and plain old disrespect and pretend that isn't happening. Do I just need to ignore it when she is on the phone with him in my house or e-mailing him?

Just checking in Mike.

Are you finding the help you need with the site? I really think you need to drop your whole story on the GQII forum as a new thread so the pros can weigh in. Reading just the little you put down worries me this is much further along than you know and you need to protect yourself and your kids. I know there are several active BH stories unfolding at GQII now that have a lot of meaning to your situation.

Are you developing a good Plan A? Read up on exposure. If you want to stop this affair you have to expose to the company they work at soon. If he is her boss there could be harrassment issues the company won't want to have to deal with. Is he married? If he is the OMW must be informed so she can save her marriage if she wishes. She could be your best ally.

Get the whole story over to GQII as soon as possible.

Chrisner

I really appreciate your concern. I have a session with Dr. SH tomorrow (23rd of Feb). Since she is not willing to stop the A and now tells me things liek "went to lunch with him today"... I am wondering if Plan A has a chance. Her job is super demanding (because her company dealt with the problm by moving her into a new group - no quid pro-quo so no problem they say). I exposed to everyone i know including her work teams. I need to have a Plan A state of mind but think I need to move to plan B. She can't cope without me taking on a lot of household tasks for her.. She doesn't want to move for the kids she says. I know she can't afford it and downs't want to deal with the kids being upset moving from a $550k house to a $1000.mo apartment. PS - $550k is a nice house in MN.

I will move to GQII.

edited to add: I just now saw that you posted on GQ II and already answered this. I hope your weekend went well.


How did your session go today? Were you able to get any answers?

Please know I don't mean this in a harsh manner. Your W sounds like she is acting like a spoiled child and perhaps should see what life is like w/o you taking such good care of her.

I am a FWS and my H has always done a lot for me, after my A I found he was doing less and less "taking care of me" which actually turned out to be a positive thing. I'm a very independent person and it's not that I couldn't do things for myself, it was easier to let him do them.

I am curious as to what SH told you to do.

Right now my big debate is how well do I continue to take good care of her. I know she really likes the chores I do, the time I spend with the kids and the meals I make. It would be a lot harder for her to have any energy for an A if I didn't take some of the pressure off. But, my idea of Plan A is roughly to treat her like I was dating her and trying to impress her. NOt sure which way to go. SH thinks that a Plan B mught be right for me in a couple of weeks. He seemed concerned that me doing Plan A and she being disrespectful could either boil over or really beat me down. WW did say she would talk to SH with me. So, I do have that to look forward to.