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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 25
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OP
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 25 |
"Surviving An Affair" arrived in the post this morning. I'm halfway through it already & I'm sure I'll have it finished by bed time (I highly recommend this book).
What's the accepted wisdom on sharing SAA with the WS ?? There's plenty in there that's relevant & may help her to understand our predicament; but then again she may start erecting barriers to what is required to restore our marriage - she's in withdrawal (I hope).
So... Do I share it with her ??
Thanks
Em
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 165
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 165 |
good question. we're not even to withdrawal yet. i'd like to hear the pros opinions.
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554 |
Based on my experience, I don't recommend "sharing" SAA with them (i.e. suggesting that they read it) unless they show that they're really open to that approach to recovery. If you do otherwise, you're just opening yourself up to disappointment.
Just leave it somewhere in plain view. If your FWS is interested enough, they'll pick it up and read it.
ManInMotion
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(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 135
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 135 |
There is another book called How can i forgive you. by the same author. Have her read that one first.
I read SAA and then gave it to my FWW. I think it was too much too fast, and she never discusses what she read, and now i can't get her to read the forgive book, which is an easyer read and does more to help.
SAA was good at discribing the pain that especially the BS was going through, but it was not much help with action.
If you can get her to open up with the Forgive book, then maybe you can get her to read SAA without the walls being put up.
Bs (27) - me
FWW (28)
Married: 06/02
D-Day: 11/05
PA: 7/04-10/04 (MOM)
EA: 9/04-D-day (with a different OM)
Daughter born 3-13-07.
Recovery Status: W acting like my W again; I missed her so much.
Read my story
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