Ace - both of us were virgins when we married. No serious prior relationships for either of us.

She posts sporadically on MB - mostly when I see a thread she may be able to contribute to but she is still a junior member. We are both members of another private board and she posts more often there. Her MB username is mrskahuna

Big K and mrskuhuna,

THANK YOU for giving as much as you do to help those of us now benefiting from your experiences.

I have questions to ask that might TJ this thread so after May 10th (when MY MR ROMANCE and I pass a major milestone) I think I will start that thread I mentioned.....probably as part of the Romantic Experiences forum. (oh......I guess I could make it a part of my thread I already started there....duhhhh!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

After our 6th grade "birds & bees" school nurse talk (all the sex education I ever got), I vowed that if any boy saw me naked, it would only be after I was married. In college, pre MR. ROMANCE and I were "studying" for his human anatomy class and I accidently broke my vow.......once....and the guilt haunted me the entire following week (he suggested we not see each other for a whole week......story in MY MR. ROMANCE saga mentioned above and in my sig line.)

While I was a virgin when we married, the fact that I compromised my vow to my values once compelled me to agree tentatively when MR. R. said "God told me to marry you".

NOW......34 years later after MR. R has had a 4 month EA involving virtual sex (phone, email & possibly video), I can forgive him for compromising his vow to our values. My seemingly minor experience looms much larger now and I understand how it can easily happen.

Wondering if anyone else had 'prior sex' experience(s) that defined your marriage (and possible affair) years afterwards.

Can anyone relate?

Ace

Ace - I don't often venture away from GQII, Recovery and JFO - it's a rareity that I saw this thread so if you want my attention, you will have to call me out over on one of those forums.

BK,

OK <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Ace

Mark,

I like your duct tape analogy - you are so right. I've seen it happen all around me.

I believe in sex "inside" of marriage. That was mine and my fiance's first fight. I wanted to wait and he wanted it right then and wanted to know it was going to be good. Needless to say, he finally cheated and I left him. Best move I ever made. (we went to counseling & even she said he was an addict) In fact it was the first time in my life I ever broke it off myself and then felt good about it as time passed (& pain faded).
If a man doesn't love me enough to wait, then it isn't "me" or a "relationship" he's after - just sex regardless of how I feel or how we relate. At least that's my opinion.

RMW