Briefly - WH and I still live in the same house. Though, that's it..nothing else...still own our business and both work there.

The other day I was thinking about spring cleaning that is just around the corner. I have a hard time throwing things away. So in many drawers, closets etc. there are memories, reminders of "what was" the times we were a couple. The photo's of us were put away long ago, after he broke all the frames. But, cards, papers from vacations, souveniours, etc. are still in drawers, etc.

Even today, while going thru some old papers at work, I found the D-day card he gave me. Which still brought tears to my eyes. And that was right after I opened the mail and found tickets he ordered for himself and his new GF to a sporting event.

Did you box all this stuff up and stash it somewhere, or did you trash it all????

I have 14 years of "stuff" I don't know what to do with, but I hate finding it amoungst other things in the house, and at work. yet, I dont' know if I'm ready to have a bonfire.....

What did you do???

HUGS

Can you box it up and put it in the attic?

I moved 3 years ago and never unpacked those types of boxes. I will keep things for my kids.

IH,

I packed up everything I had related to the A and my past with ex in a big box and it's buried in a basement closet for now.That includes the dozen or so books I read over that time like SAA and HNHN,cards,pictures,etc.I burned all the love letters my ex gave me since they meant nothing to me anymore considering how things turned out.It seemed like the letters were all lies,you know?

For the same reasons,I do not want to look at that stuff anymore and I don't want to run across it by accident and have those horrible memories dragged into the light again after trying so hard to heal.

Over the past 2 years I have been getting rid of furniture and other effects that were "ours" and I am buying stuff that is MINE,replacing that stuff.Some things I won't get rid of that I had during our marriage but that I bought and that is expensive and means a lot to me,like all my Waterford crystal,china,flatware,books,etc.

What I still have are all the pictures and cam corder footage that my kids can have if they want it when they get older,my wedding gown I won't get rid of as that was very expensive too.Not that I am reliving the memories but it was such a pretty gown,I can't imagine shipping it off somewhere.I may just let my daughters have it.

Honestly, I kept all of the things of our M that I wanted when I left. I was the BH and I moved out of the house, took the kids with me. I had free reign in the house to take what I wanted, I took very little. I mainly took what reminded me of the good times, mainly certain kids toys that reminded me of how corny my kids acted. I kept photo albums, kept the digital pictures on the computer, backed them up and gave them to her too... honestly, I haven't tossed anything out. I want to be able to show my kids sometime in the future that I wasn't so bitter after the D that I burned everything, or got rid of the memories. She is still their mother, and while I hate her guts, she will still be in their lives for a while to come.

If I ever come across her rings, if I have them, I may melt them down and do something with them... but I suspect she still has them. Someone has them, and neither one of us can find them. Oh well.

My STBX husband denies this...but he threw away all of our photo albums. This really really makes me angry because the photo albums were not just about us, but included family friends, pets, grand kids growing up etc. I always thought it was a clear symptom of just how messed up he is... the part that really annoys me is that he won't own up to it. He just has no idea where that stuff went. Of course it may very well be that he was impaired when he threw it all away in anger. I will always remember this as a very clear example of his anger, and vindictive personality.

I've kept everything (cards, divorce decree, etc. including ExH's cell phone & email records to OW, for some reason <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />) boxed in a closet. I guess that's my "divorce paperwork" box.

I've loaned out the HNHN and SAA books to friends/acquaintances. I haven't touched the photo albums (25 years' worth) and ExH hasn't asked about them, either. I think he knows I'll take care of them and it would hurt me to have to divide the photos. They're mainly for our kids & future grandkids at this point, and more likely to be seen at my house.

I kept my wedding photos and any other photos we took together simply because they're photos of ME, too. All the cards, letters and junk I ripped up and threw away--it felt GREAT to do that and we're on GOOD terms.....so, you have to do what's good for you.

I gave it all to her and pitched any personal stuff left behind except for a couple pictures - maybe 20.

Hey you! I have't been here a for a while and I saw you in the D/D forum...I take it that means things are moving along toward single-ness?

Anyway, my input is this...save nothing. I have absolutely NOTHING to remind me of "her". It simply makes for awkward moments in the future.

For example, when looking through pics with friends/future SO, you have to explain that was your wayward spouse! ICK!

While I can never remove "her" from my memories, I try to keep that 10 year disaster as far AWAY from conscious thought as possible.

Hope you are doing great! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

WHNOWBS