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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 50
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 50 |
Well, my WH and I are working things out, but I can not help but feel so down sometimes. Like this week, he has not told me he loves me on the call before we hang up and he usually does that. I know that is a VERY tiny thing to get upset about, but I can not help it. Sometimes I feel like he is just there for the finanical support, because he owns his own business in construction and through the winter months I get us by.
I don't want him there for just that, I want someone to love me and be there for me always. I am working on myself and have made some improvements. But this depression seems so overwhelming sometimes.
Any advice would be very very helpful?
BS - me - 30
WH - 31
Married - 8 yrs
Together - 14 yrs
D-Day - 10-02-06
WH is still in contact with OW!!!!!
[url=link]My Story
]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...HPSESSID=[/url]
Finally told me the truth of his feeling about OW - 1-03-07
DD - 5 mths
DS - 2yrs
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 165
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 165 |
no advice, just know that you are not alone. when my WH doesn't say "i love you" i won't say bye until he does. sometimes i just hang up. he is getting the point. has been doing much better.
how long since d-day?
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520 |
jam,
Can you give a little more info... how long since DDay? How long have you been married etc.
Have you seen a doctor about possibly starting on antidepressants? Recovery can be very hard. And life is definately a rollercoaster after an affair.
Still
PS welcome to MB
BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 50
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 50 |
Yea, I am sorry I forgot. We have been married for 8 yrs in April and D Day was in 0ct. 06 while I was pregnant with our second child. WH had the affair with his cousin's wife who we were trying to help, because it was an abusive relationship. WH did not tell me though that he loved her until Jan. 07.
I have been on antidepressants for two weeks now and I know they are supposed to take a month or so, but man it has been hard.
I just needed to hear from some of you who have been through this and get some words of encouragement.
Thanks,
BS - me - 30
WH - 31
Married - 8 yrs
Together - 14 yrs
D-Day - 10-02-06
WH is still in contact with OW!!!!!
[url=link]My Story
]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...HPSESSID=[/url]
Finally told me the truth of his feeling about OW - 1-03-07
DD - 5 mths
DS - 2yrs
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,466
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,466 |
Well, my WH and I are working things out, but I can not help but feel so down sometimes What are some of the things that you two are doing to "work it out"? I feel your pain and it is very normal. (((hugs)))
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 50
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 50 |
Well, we seems to talk more than we very have before. I tell him when I am feeling down and he does it too most of the time. He tells me everywhere he has been if I ask. We have been going to church together as a family since he told me how he felt about her. I just don't trust everything he tells me because he has lied so much before.
BS - me - 30
WH - 31
Married - 8 yrs
Together - 14 yrs
D-Day - 10-02-06
WH is still in contact with OW!!!!!
[url=link]My Story
]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...HPSESSID=[/url]
Finally told me the truth of his feeling about OW - 1-03-07
DD - 5 mths
DS - 2yrs
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,466
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,466 |
You say that your H doesn't do things for you that you would realy like him to. Why not let him know what you would like from him? Fill him in on how he can help you feel better about your whole sitch. Like this: "Honey, I know you are trying your best and I appreciate it. I realy like it when you tell me "I love you" when we are hanging up on the phone. Makes me feel loved." Then ask him what would make him feel better. Kinda like sex - don't know if it is good for you unless you tell me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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