Since my last post my husband confronted me with his concerns about my attitude towards him. I couldn't deny anthing he said except that I don't love him anymore. Like I said before I do love him but something has to change, if not I simply don't see myself being with him forever. True our situation isn't dyre but there are things that I need to sustain me in this relationship. (You've all read the five love languages, right?)He told me that I have a closed spirit towards him. I said sure do. He said you know that's not good. I said yeap. He said that it would hurt me more than anyone. I disagreed. Later that day I was reading a Joyce Meyer book about something completely off subject.I was scheming through some later chapters and came up on a section reading that when we harden our hearts it's best to immediatedly resolve to turn from that mindset because if not it developes into something we can't change but then God has to come in and make the change happen. I don't know about you but when God has resolve an issue it's not always pleasant.Even though I know that and I did intially decided to change I couldn't stay there.
We went out to see a movie Thursday (this will be the first of the two dates we have a year) and had a decent time but as soon as we got home things were still the same. As a matter of fact he went back to work and I went to pick up our children. We've only been married 3 years. Why is it that we're experiencing things that people face in the more mature years.
I don't ask him to do a thing anymore. I refuse to be rejected. Yesterday as a test I asked him to put up four plastic bags of groceries because I had to make a 20 minute run. I came back home and I see him running from our bedroom to get to those bags. I just don't have it. I don't have the patience or the desire to keep trying. I have such a rebellious mindset right now. I'm just waiting for the appropiate moment to explode. I know it sounds awful but that's still not the whole story. I'll keep you posted. In the meantime what do you think?