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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 782
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 782 |
All,
I did not go to church this morning.
Reason? B/c my STBXH has accused me of an A w/guy at church. This has been a longstanding issue between us and is his "reason" for many of the choices he made, i.e. affairs and inappropriate Rs in our now 3 year separation.
All the gory details are in my various posts here.
Question: Should I tell my 15 y/o DD why I didn't go to church? Or, do I simply tell her that I had things to take care of and leave it at that? I don't want to share unnecessarily and/or burden her with this "junk" but, she gets very angry when I don't go and it is always b/c of my H's reactions when I do go.
Advice please.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Yes. As much as you know she can handle. So it depends on her age and her maturity level. Not just give info but how she will digest and disperse it. Set the ground rules for the info before dispensing it. Let her know you love her and this isn't about her nor do you want to cause friction with her and her dad but it is important for her to know.
L.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083 |
Let me get this straight - you don't go to church because an ungodly man who hates God and wants to keep you separated from any and all things good is going to be angry with you - and you don't even have a legal relationship with him any more.
I don't think there's any excuse you could honestly and legitimately tell your daughter that doesn't put you to shame.
Be honest with her that you are still afraid of this man - and ask her to support you in changing your phone number. He has no right to have a say in your life anymore. Then go to church.
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247 |
You are still allowing your EX husband to control you.
Don't you think you should go to church?
I agree with Kayla. The reason you should give her is your FEAR of XH. And work out some protection plans. And even tell your church officials what is going on, so they are prepared to help you too.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
I'm with Kayla and Lexxxy.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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