Hi ,

I have been posting here for about 2 months or so. I have finally set up our first counseling session with Jennifer H for tomorrow.
I was just hoping that some of those who have been counseled by her would tell me what to expect.

Do my wife and I use the same phone? Two phones, speaker phone.

Are we initially spoken to seperately?


How do we inform Jennifer of our problems?

Does she ask us?

I don't want to go into it with the two of us reeling of a list of grievances.

Also, how many sessions did it take to see any results.I know it will vary from case to case but, just curious. Are there assignments? Do we check back in with her with any questions between sessions?

My WW seems to be less enthusiastic aboutthis than I am. I am sure that Jennifer will put her at ease, as this isn't a witch hunt as WW perceives.

Any input would be appreciated. I just want to get an idea of what to expect.


Thanks

We work with Steve, so it might be a little different, but I can tell you how ours works. I would guess that he and Jennifer use similar methods.


I had talked to Steve previously by myself, and so had my (at the time) WH. So he already had the majority of the story. My very first time, it took about half of the session to get the skeleton facts laid out.

When my H and I talked to Steve together the first time, he took the first half of the time to get an update, find out what's been going on. Then the second half, he talked to us separately. That's the normal format most of the time.

We've used a speakerphone, two separate phones on the same line, or if I can't get away from the office, I do a conference call with all of us, then Steve calls us each back individually for our one-on-one time.

We each have assignments, and right now they are mainly related to meeting EN's (we had to draw up specific plans and report on those plans each time). H also has assignments around re-building trust, accountability, etc. We fax Steve progress reports before sessions.

Early on, we were talking to him every couple of weeks. Now we're down to about once a month. We started seeing results right away, but not the "We're cured, so we don't need this anymore" kind. That's going to take a while.

Hope that helps.
-AmI.

Thanks,
My wife has seen the E-mail from Jennifer but hasn't submitted her questionaire. Nor has she read the Basic Concepts. I just fear she is trying to sabotage the session without even trying.

My H has NEVER done the questionnaire or read the basic concepts. Everything still works ok. And I don't have to bug him about any of it, because that's Steve's job.

Making that first call is a great start. Your W at least agreed to do that -- so recognize that she's making SOME attempt in just that. Jennifer will be able to spot any sabotage. Let HER deal with that, that's what she does.

YOU get to be the appreciative, loving H. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

-AmI.

Ok, she filled out the questionairre last night I didn't even bring it up she did. While she did that though, she found out that I had been logged in to her work E-mail account. To her credit she finished up the questionairre. It was a rough couple of hours after that though. I may bring up the whole spying thing with Jennifer this evening. Maybe she will advise me to stop and let my wife police herself.

Not a chance. Log onto her email and block his address.

We had this issue come up with Steve.

He told me that spying starts to become a bad habit, and almost an obsession. And that it should be the job of the FWS to "prove the negative". He gave my H an assignmment of regularaly sitting me down and showing me his phone, cell bills, bank bills, etc., etc. -- everything that I WOULD be snooping to find -- to prove to me that everything's on the up-and-up.

Again, it's Steve, and it's specific to our sitch, so no telling what Jennifer will tell you to do. But it's probably a good idea to bring it up. It always amazes me how Steve can take something that emotionally charged (H was really irritated when I'd look at his phone) and come up with something that makes so much sense.

Good luck on your call tonight. Don't get too worked up about how the call will go, it will be fine.

-AmI.