<BR>I have the appt. to meet with the counselor. <gulp> It's not till the end of the month. There is still time to back out .... oh just kiddin' ....<P>I believe there's something I've buried down deep inside that could be brought to the surface .... what if I killed a man? What if I stole a library book and am supressing the memory?<P>Seriously, last fall when I attempted counseling under false pretenses (OM told me to go to counseling with H to show my kids that I was trying) the counselor said there's something I'm holding onto. Well, of course I had been lying thru my teeth to him the whole time .... but besides the affair, I did sense that there WAS something I've buried .... don't ask me what.<P>Am I way weird?????

Yeah!!!<BR>(I just wanted an excuse to use the happy face icon!)<P>But seriously, I hope things get better for you soon!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Am I way weird?????<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yes. <P>Glad you're taking this step though, Maya...

Maya,<BR>You are in no way wierd. I am strange, but not wierd......? Anyway, I too feel that there is something that my W is not telling me. I cannot and will not force anything from her, when the time is right she will tell me. <P>I hope you find what you are searching for, Remember that it may not come out right away and that sometimes it takes awhile to find it. Good luck<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P><BR>

Me too! Go for it, Maya - you have nothing to lose (except a bunch of crap in your gunny sack) and everything to gain. Starting counseling can be a lot like peeling an onion, layer by layer...<P>Didn't get to speak w/ my MIL; how did you find your counselor??<P>I'm so proud o' you, Maya!<P>------------------<BR>~suse~<BR>Rome wasn't built in a day.<BR>

Hi Suse. Found the counseler thru my company's insurance .... requested a Christian counselor ... so we'll see where she stands.<P>Whodat, I can always count on you to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground! You're weird too!<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>You're weird too!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Why Thank You! That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me! <P>I’d hate to be called “normal.” Not that that’s ever really been a problem... LOL <BR>

What's normal anyway? Can't say that I've EVER been there .... probably in another dimension of time/space, huh?<P>LOL

Maya, before this degenerates into a bad Star Trek episode; my two cents.<BR> <BR>If there is something that you've buried that the counsellor bring out, there you can deal with it. It would help you over the long run. Besides, I think counsellors have to keep it confidential even if you did kill someone. Mine has yet to go to the police with all the stuff I did...

Thanks for the encouragement! I could end up a TV movie after all this ...<P>And what's WRONG with Star Trek???

I could not resist responding to Maya!<P>Maya: unless by some miracle you've stopped giggling,crying,scoffing,smacking, and generally abusing the pc there at work...Then you are definitely weird!!!<P>Why do you think I read all your posts?<P>Nah, I like your attitude, even in the face of adversity you're trying to keep your chin up. Don't hide behind that "weird" mask though.<P>Be real, in your own weird way!

Maya, nothing is wrong with Star Trek.<BR>Everything is wrong with the people who admit that they watch it. People here at work ask me if I saw last nights episode and then go off on some tangent on theoretical physics. And I'm the one having marriage problems?! I wonder what their wife has to go through? <BR>So I say "yeah, they didn't show enough of that Borg chick." That pretty much kills the discusion of altering space and time. Which is good because otherwise the discusion leads to things like cornering the market by altering the time line. At that point I jump to my feet and yell "warp core breach" and get the he!! out of there.

Fighter, you have me laughing at my computer. You are too much!<P>Thanks for that. I so needed it!<P>

Hey Maya,<P>When you talk to the counselor, don't try hide stuff. It's too easy to want to work "around" something and not let it out because of embarrasment or something. Let it out, bawl your eyes out and feel MUCH better for it. Been there, done that!<P>Once you figure out what "it" is, then you can deal with it.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Star Trek, Schmar Shmek... It's all about X-Files!...<P>Anyway, Maya - hey don't worry about your councellor appt. It's not like you're going to see the boogie man or something. It'll do you good, just you wait and see!<P>--andy

Maya - Welcome to the Marital Root Canal Club! These kinds of sessions sure aren't fun are they? Know about the false pretenses too, as my W continues to deny her affair during our sessions and I KNOW (no shadow of doubt) that she's having one. So, I'd be VERY interested in hearing about your earlier sessions in which you were there "under false pretenses." Was your H at that time ACCUSING you of an affair and you were denying it in counseling? How did those sessions go. Did you try and make out like your H was just being crazy or just had too much imagination (a couple of tacks my W is taking). Whom did your counselor believe? Regards, blessings and good luck!<P>--Wex

Hey Maya .... Good for you. <P>I was freaked out by the thought of counselling until I actually went - it turned out to be the best thing ever for me. Are you going individually, or together? Just wondering, as sometimes it is valuable to have some individual counselling, in order to find out what's hidden in the deep dark recesses of your mind, and get it all out BEFORE you start thinking about working out marital issues. Heaps less threatening when you are on your own, and more freedom to really express yourself and explore issues, without having to worry about the impact on someone else. Couple counselling is often more effective after, although most often it is advisable to have separate individual and couple counsellors, so neither party feels as though the counsellor is on "the other person's side". <P>Heck, I can tell my counsellor anything, and cry and rant & rave, and know that it is safe with her. Boy, does it feel good! I actually look forward to my visits now ... sometimes I think she is the only one I know who has got her head screwed on right!!! Gotta go, off to see the wizard...

WEIRD? I think that's a compliment! It is less painful that a root canal by the by, more like someone slicing a block off your extra heavy load! Don't worry, we are here for you (OK So we ALL are WEIRD!!! !) God Bless! <P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P><BR>

Dear Maya,<P>Weird? A badge of honor, my dear. <P>Ever put a peanut up YOUR nose? Talk to me about weird. <P>So, you think you lived another life? Like maybe you were my long lost Highland cousin or something? (Och, man! Yeee've jest stipped on me kilt!).<P>Live long and prosper. (I was gonna write it in Vulcan but this old late 20th cent keyboard can't handle it) *snort snort*<P>Slainte!

Dear Maya,<P>Seein' dooble, are ye noo, lass?<P>Dear Maya,<P>Weird? A badge of honor, my dear. <P>Ever put a peanut up YOUR nose? Talk to me about weird. <P>So, you think you lived another life? Like maybe you were my long lost Highland cousin or something? (Och, man! Yeee've jest stipped on me kilt!).<P>Live long and prosper. (I was gonna write it in Vulcan but this old late 20th cent keyboard can't handle it) *snort snort*<P>Slainte!<P>[This message has been edited by DuncanMac (edited October 08, 1999).]<P>[This message has been edited by DuncanMac (edited October 08, 1999).]<p>[This message has been edited by DuncanMac (edited October 08, 1999).]