Hi I was around this site a while back and have not visited probably for a year. A lot has happened. My husband left me in July stating irreconcilable difference after literally treating me like garbage for the months leading up to this. No matter what I said or did his attitude was IT TOO LATE.He always denied to both me and my kids 15.13 and 10 that there was ever anyone else. Well this week I found out he was cheating (maybe still is ) with a friend of a friend. Everyone at work new about it and it is just coming to light now. I am so angry and hurt and wonder if reconciliation is even possible as I am just ready to file for divorce. We do have a legal seperation at this time---his doing. He was a pastor but is not living for the Lord at this time. What should I do??????? I confronted him but again it is all my fault...if I had done this sexually and that then nothing would have happened???????????? What next

How does one deal with this with my children. How do I cope with all the people that know about it. Should I try and talk to him about it but then again this usually gets me know where. I knew in the bottom of my heart that this was a very big possibility but now that it is real, my heart is being ripped out and thrown to the wind. I guess maybe I always held out hope that it would turn out different. He lies and lies and lies about everything that now I am left wondering what was real in the 16 years we were together. I know plan b is just to ignore him but how do you do that with kids. The kids want nothing to do with him and I know this is not healthy either.

Rangers,

Have you read everything on this site? Did you read HN/HN? You may want to post on Gen Question II as there's more traffic there. Your WH is rewriting your history to justify his wrong. Please hang in there. It's not your fault, you didn't make him be an adulterer...he chose it! One thing I've learned over the past year is that I have NO control over my H's behavior...only my own.

Expose his adultery to EVERYONE and let him deal with the consequences. It will cause a major problem in his relationship. Expose to OW's family and/or spouse.

Hi thanks for the help, I totally understand that he is attempting to hurt me and blame me so he does not have to take responsibility for his affair. I guess if he believes he was justified in messing around because I was ................. then it makes it ok. Well I know in my head that is so wrong but sometimes it just hurts in my heart. Now he is going on and on about me publically humiliating him, demeaning, degrading him etc because of all this but in fact it was my friends who exposed it all out in the open and now it is ALL my fault. I guess bottom line is --I have to hold onto the truth and discard the lies and accusations that are constantly coming in my directions. I know I am not faultless in this all but I did not in no way make him be unfaithful.