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TO CLEAR HIS HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!
I KNOW WHAT YALL ARE GOING TO SAY, BUT GO AHEAD AND SAY IT - BACK ME UP HERE!
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Help him out by tossing his cloths our of the house for him.
I'm sorry to hear this (((((Forgivingone)))))
I am glad that your not in your own fog right now and that you know what this means.
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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I am asking myself 2 questions:
~What would I think if my H said this to me?~
Then I am asking myself...
~What would I do if my H did actually get himself a hotel room to 'think' about things?~
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My response to myself:
1. I think H has something going on he wants to keep a secret.
2. I would say to H ... "Well, I think you should stay here in your own home to do your 'thinking', and I will get a nice hotel room for a few nights."
Pep
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now he says "i try to be honest with you, and this is what i get?"
he says i'm giving him a headache
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Posts: 35,996
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3. Then, I would call OW's H and give him a 'head's up' about the HOtell room plan. See if OW has plans away from her family as well.
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now he says "i try to be honest with you, and this is what i get?" the word try is interesting, don'cha'think !
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3. Then, I would call OW's H and give him a 'head's up' about the HOtell room plan. See if OW has plans away from her family as well. i already told him. but his WW has already moved out and is staying with a friend, so we have no way to know her plans.
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Posts: 165
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now he says "i try to be honest with you, and this is what i get?" the word try is interesting, don'cha'think ! VERY interesting indeed!!!
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Posts: 35,996
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whatever you do .... do NOT lovebust
stay calm
he is trying to lure you into an EMOTIONAL tailspin so you will do something that justifies his going to the HOtell
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Stay calm
say to him:
"Just let me know where you will be ... in case of an emergency."
Then, have him followed by a friend.
AND ... call OW's H anyway .... even if he does not want to reconcile, he will still want to know what is going on
Pep
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((((forgiving one)))))
sorry to hear this...but I am glad you have your eyes open...what is your plan??? whatever you do stay calm.
I agree with pep...offer to give him some space and tell him that you do not approve of the "hotel room" idea.....
gosh those waywards say the dumbest things...foggy around your way is it?????!!!!! stay strong
Fightingback
BS (me) 36
WS 39
3 kids 3,4,8
together 15yrs
EA 9/06, PA 10/06
12/07 plan A
1/13/07 WS moves out
1/27/07 1st attempt plan B
2/20/07 REAL plan B
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I would say to H ... "Well, I think you should stay here in your own home to do your 'thinking', and I will get a nice hotel room for a few nights."
Perfect! How would he react to that?
Mulan
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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whatever you do .... do NOT lovebust
stay calm
he is trying to lure you into an EMOTIONAL tailspin so you will do something that justifies his going to the HOtell how do i not lovebust??? he knows i am 100% against this - should i let him do it anyway? HELP!!
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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Posts: 1,466
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Is getting his credit card a LB? No card, no room? I know that he will try other ways, but it makes it harder to do.
How about cancel the card ASAP. Agian, I know OW could use her card.
Just putting it out there.
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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Posts: 35,996
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how do i not lovebust???
he knows i am 100% against this - should i let him do it anyway? stand still so i can give you the 2X4 YOU do not have the power to STOP him from going ... do you even WANT that power? it is NOT loveable to have that sort of power.... what you want is to be wanted sooooooooooooooooooooo if he wants to leave he leaves you can tell him HOW YOU FEEL without ~lovebusting~ name calling yelling slamming objects you want to be wanted you do not want to police exercise self control NOW ... especially when WH is not excercising self control Pep
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I'm going to give you two sides to this one:
When my FWH was in his A, he used this one a couple of times. That's when he screwed me and OW in the same bed, in the same hotel room. Not sure how many times.
Now, on the up side of this ... many months later, he stayed at a hotel room for 3 days. He'd decided he'd had enough of "recovery" and wanted out. Those three days really did change him. He came home really ready to work on the marriage.
There you have it ...
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You do have a way to know OW's plans. You already know. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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you don't love bust by acting calm...no yelling..no anger..no outrage(of course you can feel all of this, but don't let him see it) DO tell him how you feel in a calm and controlled manner...then move on with your bussiness...keep busy so you don't lose control...if you feel yourself losing it, then call a friend...take a drive...or a shower to reset your mind. "WH, it is unacceptable to me that you are staying at a hotel" he knows i am 100% against this - should i let him do it anyway?HELP!! fo...you have NO control over what he does...your panic will have you saying anything..threatening and such to try to get him to make the right decision....he may not do the right thing...and it will probably tear your heart out...but you can only control YOU!!! keep posting we are here... when is he going???
Fightingback
BS (me) 36
WS 39
3 kids 3,4,8
together 15yrs
EA 9/06, PA 10/06
12/07 plan A
1/13/07 WS moves out
1/27/07 1st attempt plan B
2/20/07 REAL plan B
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Posts: 165
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we've been communicating through texts, so no yelling. i haven't called him names, i haven't thrown anything.
he keeps saying "just trust me"
AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
EA ??/?? - ??/??
PA 1.06.07 - 2.14.07
D-day #1 1.21.07
D-day #2 2.15.07
WH 27
BW (me) 26
DD 13 months old
I exposed A to OWH on 2.5.07
H still has contact with OW through work
Status: (me) unsure if the fight is worth it
Status: (WH) confused, but hopeful
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