I have actualy 2 single friends who are in their late 40's and desperate to find a man (both have been married before). Both are very sweet to my husband and both try to talk to him about the things that interest him, getting very close physically and smiling flirtatiously and ooh and awwing at everything he says.

He is a very successful man and reasonably good looking and they would love to find a man like that to take care of them. Age is creeping in and both have had bad luck with men. They also don't make much money and live alone in small apartments. I made the mistake about complaining about my husband to both, so they feel our relationship is weak and that maybe they have a chance...

Anyway, one friend is worse than the other. Not only she openly praises him a lot whenever we meet her in a party or dinner with friends "You look SOOO handsome tonight", she also tries to sit next to him and touches him a lot while talking to him-monoplozing his attention and isolating me, which is rude.
I could just cut her out of my life but she (and the other woman as well) are part of our group of friends. If I cut her out I end up losing many friends. I also need her to do girly things together since my husband is always busy.

I thought about talking to her about it, but not sure how. ANd I definetely will not tell my husband how I feel so his ego is not even more inflated.

I need to make more married friends-desperate female friends are maybe not a good idea to have around.

What's the best approach here?
Thanks!

Are you just angry that she is treating you rudely, or are you afraid that he’ll stray?

If the former, give her a break. She is hard up for a guy, and gets her jollies talking to a nice looking guy who is married. Instead of treating her as an enemy, treat her as someone who needs your help and understanding.

If the latter, you need to have a good long talk with your H. He needs to take your worries seriously, even if he thinks that they are unfounded.

I think you should nip it in the bud before things go to far. You need to let her know that you don't appreciate her flirting with your husband and tell her that you consider her actions to be disrespectful to you. Next, you need to work on shoring up your marriage and work on making your husband your companion. Is there a way for you to exclude your husband from activities that involve this friend being around?

I would not ask my spouse along on "girl's" only activities. If you are going to hang out as a couple it should be with other couples or it should be just the two of you. There is really no need for him to make your single friend's HIS single friend's.

Almondeyes hit the nail right on the head. Friends are all well and good, but if they don't respect boundaries of decency, they're friends who will quickly become enemies while causing friction between you and your husband.

If you approach yor husband, who no doubt appreciates the flattering attention (I certainly would), you can bet on offending him because he believes he's "stronger" than you give him credit.

The absolute worst position to be in is the jealous spouse with others showing such adoring admiration to your husband. It has to stop and your friends, if they're your friends at all, have to respect the boundaries of marriage.

From a husband's perspective, never tell your friends of your husband's shortcomings. He's already aware of them and he knows that you are too. You know because he lets you into a part of his life that nobody else sees - his vulnerabilities and limitations.

Former Congressman Bob McEwen and his wife Liz once gave a talk they called, "Love, Respect and the M-1 Tank". Among other things, Bob likened a man to the M-1 Tank, used by the Army. It goes out into the world rugged, tough and hard charging. Bullets bounce off of its tough skin. The enemy even with a machine gun can't harm it.

On the inside, however, the M-1 Tank is a very sensitive machine. Only the most trusted people get to be inside that tank - the Soldier who wears the appropriate uniform. If that Soldier starts swinging his elbows and breaking stuff, he gets pushed out and is never trusted inside again.

According to Bob McEwen (and I agree), men are a lot like that. We go out into the world of work with our game face on, take a hail of fire and abuse all day and it just bounces off. When we get home, our wife, the one we trust with our more sensitive side, is the one and only person who can do a lot of damage with words, especially to others about or limitations.

Is it stupid and macho? Maybe. Honest? Definitely.

It may help just to constantly tell your friends how much you and your husband mean to each other. Talk to them about the better things you do for each other.

Best wishes,

Rob

I think you need to find some new friends. It can be a sad fact of life that people change, and sometimes people who were once good friends now are not the people you should have in your life.