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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 139
L
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Posts: 139
I've been searching and searching because I know I've read a number of posts about this over the last 12 months, but can't find then now of course!

Can anyone please tell me the wording or correct phrase to use when stipulating in a divorce that there will be NO overnights for daughter if either party (wife or husband) has a live in partner which he/she is not married to and is not family.

Thanks you!

Joined: Apr 2006
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I can't help you in your question. I am trying to do the same thing.

I have an order now that OW cannot be in prescence of my kids. I named her by name in the order.

Since WH and OW are living together, I wanted that also to be in my D decree. My lawyer said that cannot be done. After the D, it is no longer considered adultery, and WH is free to see and live with who ever he wants. I told my lawyer I am trying to teach my kids morals, and them seeing Dad living and sleeping with OW while unmarried, isn't morally right in my mind. My lawyer "hopes" WH would be discreet regarding this, but my lawyer said there is nothing that can be written to prevent this. My lawyer said that would have to apply to me also. I said that would be fine. I would never submit my kids to that anyway. I guess in other states it can stated in the D decree, but I guess not where I live.

That has been a HUGE issue for me. I DO NOT want OW near my kids when the D is over. She is poison and ruined our family! I have been at odds with my lawyer about this from the beginnning. I was told I could put it in the temp. orders while the D was in motion, but not in the final orders, which I think is ridiculous.

What ever happened to looking out for the kid's best interests?!

I am still going to try and somehow fight it though. D won't be over for a few more weeks.

If I was somehow able to put it in, WH would just get around it by marrying the OW!!!

Joined: Nov 2002
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Cat,

I think we may be in the same state.... do you live in northern NE?

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
C
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Posts: 823
Yes, I do.

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
S
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Posts: 1,520
You don't have to tell me if you don't want too. But I will tell you I live in Maine.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
C
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C Offline
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
No I don't live in Maine.

It's not that I don't want to tell you where, it's just I think WH might be on here from time to time, even though I don't think he knows my user name, ya never know, and with the D almost final, I have to be careful.

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
S
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Posts: 1,520
No problem at all.

It just sounded like many of the things I had heard from my attorney. Almost like deja-vu

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 139
L
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L Offline
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 139
G'day Cat & Still,

What a disgrace hey. I live in Australia, and we have 'no fault' divorce - so I can't even stipulate that we're divorcing because of his adultery!! It's an absolute disgrace.

When I told my lawyer I didn't want OW near my child he acted like I was off my rocker. (That's 'crazy' in Oz language - although language is becoming quite universal these days). I actually walked out feeling like I was the 'mean' one. The world has gone loopy and it scares me to death at times.

Here most people will do a parenting plan - which isn't legally binding - but apparently you do have the option to make it so. This is what I would want. WH, I just found out, has been secretly living with OW since Boxing Day. She's actually immigrated over here from the UK to be with him and they didn't even tell me! It was an absolute God-intervention the way I found out.

I feel like a roaring lioness when it comes to my daughter, but I feel there is not much I can really do to protect and keep her away from OW and that somehow I'm loopy for even trying to make it possible.

Argggggg

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 113
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 113
You and me both LL.

Here where I live in the US, is a no fault state too. I almost wish there was some kind of law on the books, allowing one to sue for pain and suffering for adultery. This has been one of the most painful things I have ever gone through. In her own words... "XXXX is a no fault state, you can't do anything about what I did anyway" It's hard to be the good one in this world.

Maybe a roaring lioness is what your children need. Lion cubs don't understand just how dangerous the real world can be.


"Integrity is not a conditional word. It doesn't blow in the wind or change with the weather. It is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a man who won't cheat, then you know he never will." - John Macdonald
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
C
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
Some states, like North Carolina, have laws that you can sue the OP for "alienation of affection". Wish I lived in one of those states.

I know what you mean about being a lioness. Don't mess with my kids. I will do WHATEVER I can to protect them. Wish the laws felt the same way. I guess adultery is so common that it's no big deal to the courts. Very sad. It's like they reward the adulterers.


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