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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5 |
Post deleted by cares2much
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 132
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 132 |
Have you done any individual counseling? Affairs are terrible things...but you should consider yourself fortunate that he did come back and has made changes. So many people never get that chance.
We are all human and make mistakes. It is natural that you are still hurting...it will take time to heal. Have you read the book "Surviving an affair"?
BS - 38 (me)
WW - 32
S - 4 (with me)
Married 7 years
DDay - 8/18/06 (PA)
Sep - 10/23/06 - moved back 5/22/07 - out again 6/8/07
Status - Divorce official 7/24/2007
"I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much."
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5 |
Thank you for your response. I have not done IC. I do feel fortunate that he is back and better than ever. I guess I just thought it has been long enough and I should be over it. I will try the book. Thanks again. I write this with tears because I feel like I can't talk to anyone. My friends who "helped" me through this think I have the greatest m ever.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,033
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,033 |
Cares,
""Why can't I not get over it!""
I really don't believe you will ever get over it. My Dday will be 3 years ago in June. I still have those thoughts.
I have those thoughts much less than I did after one year.
Those thoughts are still there only not as strong or intense.
You must realize that your life, the way you were, is perminently altered. This will be a part of you from now on.
So one learns to live with it and maybe work with it to make things much better between you.
He must realize this too. I did like the new wedding ring on Christmas. Sounds like he is trying to make amends. You are very fortunate for that.
IMHO
krk
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5 |
krusht,
You are right. I know it is easier than it was a year ago. I guess I'm just having one of those feel sorry for myself weeks. Thanks for the reality check! I think about the time after my dad had passed from cancer how my life was different - I guess this is another one of those "different" chapters in my life. So would you say it was worth it stay in your marriage? How is it after 3 years? Do you fear it happening again? I love my husband with all my heart - but it is hard to want to let my guard totaly down and relax. I guess I feel like if I keep my guard it would be impossible for him to hurt me again. I have told him that he can't hurt me - I would skip the hurt right to anger.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
>>> prior this event, were you historically an emotionally stable woman?
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5 |
>>> prior this event, were you historically an emotionally stable woman? Yes - I was a very strong, confident, emotionally stable women!!!!!!!!!!
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