ok, this whole plan A thing really gets my panties in a wad. i am mad, i am hurt. he deserves to be punished!!!!
i just want to lay into him. tell him "how can you be so stupid?" "why would you risk our family over that slut?"

i just want to hurt him so badly. i want to yell and scream and hit him. i want to cry and sob in front of him so he will see what he has done to me. i want to make him cry.

if it weren't for this site, that's what i would do. i still may do it anyway. he doesn't deserve me. i deserve better! if this happens to my daughter i'd want her to have enough self-respect to leave that lying cheating scumbag!

ok, i feel a little better now. would feel better if i had said all of that to my WH, but this will do for now.

vent over.

Forgiving, it does sucks...it sucks bigtime...I feel your anger...But I have been told that the greatest revenge is making a good life for yourself. So much easier said than done, though.

FO,

I know the pain and hurt.

Why not tell me all the good things about your H? What led you to want to M him? Tall, shorter, smells good or funny guy? I have heard lots of bad things about him. Lets look at the good.


Here you go:

I like my H because....

yeah, but if i have a good life and he's in it, where is the revenge??
when does he hurt?

i tell you though, what would hurt him the most is his daughter growing up with another man in her life, more important than him. and she would probably call him daddy too.
i'm just so mad right now.

it's not fair, so not fair!!!

good idea M2L:

i like my H b/c: he is good to his mother, he is funny, he made me feel special and loved, when i thought i was unlovable. he is cute. he is smart and strong. he is compassionate towards animals. he is ambitious. he makes me feel safe. he always brings me water to bed.
he gave me an elaborate proposal. went way over the top. and rather than saying "will you marry me?" he said "will you spend the rest of your life with me?" later he told me it was b/c not all marriages last and he didn't want me just for awhile, but for the rest of our lives.

i do love him

you are so wise M2L

FO,

These are all action and qualities of a good man. I like the water to bed part. It shows he sees your needs and works to meet them. Even a little H2O one.

Your H lost his way not his mind. When someone loses their way they often times need help to bring them home agian. This is your job. SHOULD NOT BE YOUR JOB, but it is. Your H should be at your feet asking for forgiveness, but right now he is not.

Take a deep breath and a short walk. Take the baby out for a ride in the stroller.

Your H needs you now more then ever and he doesn't even know it. He will one day, but not today. It will come though.

What about a night or two at a hotel with the family? A place with a pool and hottub? Maybe a few hours away so you can explore during the day and dinner out and then back to the hotel. Just the three of you.

One thing the OW has not got on you is that you and your H have a baby together - play that up.

M2L
my mil is going to watch the baby saturday night so we can have a date. hadn't thought about a hotel with a hot tub. but she can keep DD overnight if need be. she is fully aware of the sitch and is willing to help as much as possible.

writing that out about him really did make me feel better.
i look forward to the day that my H thanks me for giving him another chance. right now, all he pretty much says is "you're a better person than i am"

just hope it's all worth it.

[color:"blue"] ... the Taker's call to arms !!!! [/color]

Great vent fo!



It'll be worth it regardless of what happens with your marriage.

thanks for all of your replies

after writing out all of WH's good qualities, i realized i do love him. i decided i have to let down my wall somewhat. last night i also realized that he has been eating and sleeping like a normal person, which he wasn't before.
and i know you all think he saw her this weekend, but i don't think so. when he was still cheating he couldn't sleep or eat.

so anyway, hopefully this will be a good week!