short version of my story:
WH cheated with married co-worker. they still work together, pretty much whole office knows about the A.
OW and her H have already started the D process.
WH's last day of work is supposed to be 4/17 (end of tax season)

he says the A is over. i believe him. whether it is or isn't is probably irrelavant with regards to my plan A.

so i need help with a plan A. his top ENs are: SF, family commitment, financial support and attractive spouse

i am planning to be happy and start going back to the gym (for me). i initiate SF every night and am going to be the best mom i can be (lately that's been hard, but i can put up a good front for plan A)

any suggestions?

does plan A last until plan B begins (if necessary)? we have a vaca planned for 4/18 to 4/22 so i will plan A at least through 4/22.

thanks in advance. i'm excited to get started.

Even if the affair is over...if he still works with her then contact continues and the affair is not really completely over. He can't withdraw from the relationship until he actually achieves NO CONTACT. Even glances around the office count as contact. A glance can say a lot and even if he's not talking to her...he will be thinking about what she's thinking and so on.

Thus, I think you'll need to Plan A through the date he leaves his job, the vacation and for at least a few weeks AFTER that. After April 17th...if he actually leaves the job you will be able to monitor him better for additional contact. IF he has contact with OW...then maybe you consider Plan B at that time (more likely that will be the date you schedule and begin preparations for Plan B a week or so after you confirm contact). From April 17th through say May 17th (just an estimate) he should be showing signs of withdrawal (likely withdrawal from the job AND OW). You should Plan A through this period in my opinion.

Read up all you can about Plan A. I posted a do's and don'ts list on Longhorn's "For Newly Betrayed Spouses" thread which is pinned to the top of the Just Found Out board. You may like that. Be strong and be patient. It sucks he can't quit today (or in two weeks) but having to finish out the tax season is understandable for a tax professional.

Good luck,
Mr. Wondering

thanks mr wondering.
i was thinking plan a-ing until a few weeks after NC is established.

i hate this roller coaster. one minute i want my H, the next i want a new start.

grrrr!!! i never even thought about kissing another man before this mess. this sucks so bad!!