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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 36
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 36 |
Recovery is at a point I need to get to the bottom of "Why I had an affair". Could someone point me in the direction of info. on this topic. I want to be sure to cover all the bases, as completely as possible, for both DH and myself. Very important to both of us I really get a good understanding of my thoughts at the time and changes I must make to NEVER be fogged out again. I believe this may even help me more than him!!
FWW- ME 45
BS- DH 49
DD 25/23
DS19
D-DAY SEPT 4, 2006
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
I just bumped a thread for you by kyellow4 called "own your own affair". Good place for you to start.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965 |
In addition to the other advice already given, I would advise you find the book “Not Just Friends” by the late Dr Shirley Glass. This should be very helpful.
I wish my WW and I had read it a year ago and life could well be very different.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 175
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 175 |
Kudos to you for sticking your neck out and asking for help!
"If you want a good wife, then you have to be a good husband."
BS-38 (me)
WH-34
0 kids
Together 3 1/2 years
Married almost one year before DDay
WH EA 9/06
DDay 11/06
Plan A 1/07
WH asked for LSA 2/07
Plan B 03/07
LSA effective 3/07
H moved out 3/07
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Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 1,225
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Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 1,225 |
Yes, if able, read Shirley Glass's book, "Not Just Friends." If you are hesitant to buy the book (or check it out at the library), this link may help: Shirley Glass on Affairs~Marie
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,813
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,813 |
Qetuo, Here is a good thread on the topic that might help you and your H get further insight and understanding in your behavior at the time. This thread is also good and explains all the steps of betrayal & unfaithfulness that lead up towards final betrayal & adultery. As explained by the author on this thread, adultery is usually the culminating act of a dozen or more tiny steps of unfaithfulness. Each step in itself does not seem that serious or much beyond the previous step. Satan draws a person into adultery one tiny step at a time. And he does this over time so that our conscience is gradually seared. This makes it easier to take "just one more step" thinking such a tiny step won't hurt us.This thread gives insight into emotional infidelity and provides guidelines on how to help affair-proof & protect your marriage and keep temptations at “arms length” by keeping up healthy boundaries with the opposite sex.
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