Let your daughter know that the OW owes her more than an apology and the WII s/b something he gives because it is a gift from the heart, NOT a guilt gift. Let her know the difference and she in turn can tell her dad (if she chooses). Children are not dumb. They know the difference and can tell when a parent is being an azz.

L.

he called today so i decided i would see what kinda of bs he is giving out today. he went to tell me how they had a big arguement last night(OW)which my response was oh that is nice. he said he told her that she does what she wants and that his daughter fixed it for him that should not have anything to do with her jealousy. i said well it sounds like you have a little girl to raise good luck! he went on to tell me that she is mad because we are filing our taxes together. he said that he told her that she filed taxes with her husband and he didnt get upset. he said that she goes to where her husband lives everyday to get the kids off to school and he dont say nothing. he said that he told her he is tired of justifying everything that me and him does to her and that no matter what we still will have a connection because of our daughter and she will have the same with her husband because of their kids. i didnt say anything. he said that she was upset because he is on my insurance and she wanted me to be taken off. i said good when is she going to get a job that has it and that can be done. he said that he told her that he needs the insurance and he was grateful that i left him on there for a year and there is no way he can go with out it. i said well she has plenty of time to get looking for a job that has it i would tell her to get busy or you wont be having any cash flow because it will be going out in doctor bills and meds. he said he knows that. he went to tell me that he went to the doctor today and they up his insulin and have him on 3 other meds besides that. and he said even with the insurance when he picked them up he still had to pay 140. he said if he had to pay the full price he would have to pay 500+. i said well the only thing i can tell you is use it while you still have and get everything you need done for the year before november because after that you are on your own. she will be accepting full responsibilty for everything for you so that is part of it. i would start getting the sunday paper so she can look for a job. he said what if she dont have one by then will you still take me off i said yes. i have gave you plenty enough time to get this taken care of i have to move on. i wish you the best in health but since you are with her i feel you are no longer my responsbilty. she is. now you have to start dealing with that. his voice went quiet and he said i understand.
can you believe that conversion? he is crazy if he thinks i am going to continue carry him on my benefits if we are not together.
gee do you all think i should send them a housewarming gift?(lol) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Now is the time to put in the screws. The OW seems to be highly jealous and you can RB your way so that the OW LBs all over the place and you won't have to raise a finger. LOL!!!

Keep making the OW jealous and confuse the Ws. That's a good thing, just make sure you are ok.

You've got the upper hand on this one. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.

i am in one of those i really dont care moods. i know it might be different when i wake up tomorrow. my cousin sent me this email where it was talking about God and the people who was saying they didnt believe and what has happened and there was some bible quotes and the one that stuck with me is the one that said" man will reap what he sows" so now i am taking a backseat. i know that he will never be happy with her no matter how big the house or how much money they to spend( oh yeah they are moving into their new love pad today) it is going to end. and to add a little info about Dh in here. the man dont cuss, smoke or drink. he loves watching religous movies and we had religous pictures our thru our house. so i am thinking how can this man not feel guilty? what would you guys think of buying a bible for our aniversary this month. if this woman would throw away a bible isnt that punishable by lightning?(i know just wishful thinking) anyone with any ideas? i would love to keep things stewing but you know where they are just simple little things. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Ok, time to get your smart and not just in a vengeful mood. Vengeance often backfires from a BS to the A. Why? Because the rules are different. The WS and OP like pain. They enjoy causing it and in some cases receiving it. Sick but true. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Not even the Bible alone can break the A. That should make us really see who is behind ALL A's. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Scary when we let those who work for that monster into our homes and care for our children. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Instead of trying to teach the WS and OP a lesson, pull back and while they are moving into their pig stye, let them wonder why is bsj having such a good time? Why isn't she miserable about their move? Yep...Yep....make 'em wonder. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

Post deleted by *Blondblossom*

you guys are so right!! why should i put so much energy into him and OW? not worth my time. there will always be something. whenever he comes to his senses and sees that they are not compatible and material things will not help the relationship( different house, new furniture, and cars) it still dont change the people involved just the surroundings that has to come within. i think he thinks i am going to be there no matter what even when he gets done with this phase he is going thru. i felt that i have done all that i can. i am tired of showing and doing little things for him to prove that i love him. it is now his turn. i am focusing more on me and my state of being(emotional and phyiscal) i do believe that they both (dh and OW)will get what they deserve. NOTHING!!!!
i have to meet up with him in the morning to get our taxes done. i am sure she will be sooooo upset on that!!!
oh well her problem not mine.
as far as taking a trip i would love to but i do not have the funds to do so. i am barely keeping up with the gas prices getting me back and forth to work. maybe if i can get some overtime in i might be able to.
i am hoping for a no drama day. i am sure that i will be seeing hickeys all on his neck tomorrow if she even thinks that i will be seeing him. she is so immature. i hope he has fun raising a woman that acts like a little girl!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Post deleted by *Blondblossom*

i guess i do sound strong today. i am in the just dont give a rat's a$$ mode. i know that can change in a minute. i did alot of soul searching this past week. i am tired of being tired( mental and phyiscal) where is it getting me. i am spending my time on something that i can not change no matter what he has to step up. he caused this diaster is not my job to fix it. i am comparing it to when a tornado comes plowing thru your house.you are devasted, in total shock, all the things that took years to have is destroyed, your house is in shambles. you can choose to stand there and shake your head and keep saying i cant believe this. or you can rebuild. maybe with strong beams maybe with concrete walls that might not stop another tornado coming thru but damage might not be as bad. you know you can rebuild again. that is what i am trying to get thru in my head. i am in the rebuilding stage i am tired of shaking my head at what has happened what done is done and i can do nothing about it. did i have control over dh actions(tornado) NO! did it put my life in shambles? (house) YES!!!
but it is time to start building again. i am sure i will have my ups and downs( storms) but i know i will survive it.
hey i have the best insurance policies.(MB and God) i know that i will be guided in my rebuilding stages and be shown ways where to everything will be alot more secure.
love you all!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Post deleted by *Blondblossom*

bb
i hope everything turns out okay with your dental work. there is nothing worse than a toothache.
i admit that i myself dont read the bible like i use to when i was younger. i do believe that everything has a reason and a purpose. sometimes we dont understand them at the time because some can be very painful. that is the hard part getting over the pain. and no i still feel it time to time but i guess it just isnt as bad when it first happened i guess i am starting to heal or i have a high tolerance of pain! yes i still love my husband but the man that has done this to me is not that person. the sad part is that he is not even happy you can see that in his face and his health. he gave up so much and yet settle for less. i do not see this lasting but now it is in their hands. OW thinks because of the move that things will be better me personally i dont see that. when you talked about you never questioned your husband about anything i myself was like that as well i never looked at his cell phone or checked what he was doing. but when i notice changes in him all of a sudden i think your instinct kicks in and you have a gut feeling something is not right. and most of the time it is true. but see now he is dealing with having to log his time on where, who and how long on anything he does. then when something is not okay with her she pouts and packs her things and leaves for the night or hours what ever she feels like. never in our 9 years of marriage did neither one of leave in a fight or anything. we might not of talked for a few days but eventualy it would pass. but with her it is not like that. it is her way or nothing. but he puts up with it so when he finally gets tired of her games and her childish ways that is when it will be done. until then he made the problem now he has to deal with it. i guess i am allowing myself to step back and let them self destruct. i dont call him if i have a message for him about anything i will have my daughter to say what i need. not if it is anything serious but right now we are dealing with taxes and her bday party getting that together it will be i need this info or something like that. he did call me today and was dealing bout his other daughter that she has just went really wild and now his XW called crying. i didnt bother to ask if OW gets mad she calls or not. i never did i knew that once you have a child together you need to have a civil relationship between the two of you. matter of fact i even spoke to her many of times. now it took awhile for her to do that we never got along before. but once she seen that i loved her daughter like mine own we got along( it was civil)
i just hope my new outlook stays i just dont want to go back to the way i was feeling! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Post deleted by *Blondblossom*

bb
here is the answer to your questions:
me=34 yrs old
Dh=37yrs old
dh has two daughters ours together and my stepdaughter by his first marriage. he has been married 3 times.
1st marriage for about 18 months. he was 19 she was 16 and pregnant with his daughter they never got along. she ended up having an affair on him when his daugher was about 6 months old. she got remarried 1 week after their divorce got final. 2nd marriage i would say was a rebound marriage. i was in a relationship at the time and he started dating a girl and then it was a spare of the moment thing when they got married because his mom even told me that the day that they got married he was wanting to back out but couldnt because everyone was there. she told him it was never too late. but he went thru anyway. they was married about a year and he found out she was having numerous affairs and when he went to get a divorce he had to wait because she was pregnant and he had to go thru dna testing for the baby. which was not his she had him and 3 other guys at the hearing to submit dna for the test. i think they was married maybe 2 years. then about year later we got together and lived together for a year then we got married. next week it will be 9 years for us. well we are still legally married i dont know how long you still keep track since he has been with someone else.
i have been trying to keep my self busy so i dont have time to be consume by them. i dont ask no questions and our conversion is very vague. this weekend my thermostat when out on the furnace so i called him to see if he knew anyone to put it one on for cheap i already bought the part. so within a half of an hour someone came to the house installed it. when i went to pay him he told me that DH already paid him. i called and thanked him and hung up. i know he did it just for me to call him and for him to try to talk to me. like i said i thanked him and that was it. i know i shouldnt have done that but i am that type of person no matter if it was him or someone else you do that.
hopefully today is a no drama day. i am worn out from the weekend. cant wait to go to bed!!

Post deleted by *Blondblossom*

sorry i didnt make it clear.
we first started dating in high school. he was my first. i was 16 and he was 18. my junior his senior year. we broke up over something stupid. he dated 1st wife for 3 months and she got pregnant. they had numerous of fights and she went to live with family out of state. we slowly started talking again and 2 months before 1st wife had his daughter she came back and there was a big conflict going on with her parents and i guess there was a legal matters too because she was 15 when she got pregnant so needless to say they got married to justify everything. but during that time she was away i got pregnant. ( there is 8 months difference between the girls). i stayed away and really he did not know i was pregnant till a member of his family seen me when i was 6 months pregnant. i wanted to give them a chance with their marriage because of the baby. i had a lot of support of my friends and they knew. i dated someone the time i was pregnant and there was no sex involved in our relationship he was with me with every doctor visit and when i went to have my daughter he begged for me to tell everyone that she was his. but i couldnt do that. he was at my side the whole time. and after i had my daughter i let him go because i didnt want to tie him down. i dont know if you remember but i said i spoke to a guy and he gave his number and told me if i needed anything to give him a call. that was him!!!! sorry i was getting off the question. i guess you can say we have been together since high school with some time in between. the last 9 years married.
sorry i didnt mean to confuse you..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

to all my MB cyber friends you guys are going to love this!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
my daughter got her Wii system this weekend so she was showing me on how to play it. so today while she was at school i put in the game that has the boxing on it.
i set it up for 2 players you get to make up your own characters so the first match i made up a character that looked like OW!!!! i couldnt wait to beat her a$$!!! i tell you i felt a little relief on that one and guess what no jail time. then my second opponet you guess it was my DH!! and with every blow i stated what i was hitting for!! i tell you i have not felt this relieved in months. i got alot of anger out. it felt great!! i highly recommended this. of course no one knows this but me and well you all but i thought i would share it. it might help someone that is frustrated! that would be a cool girls night out!!
love you all!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
bsj220 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

A bit unconventional but a safe way to relieve the stress. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

What a reason to get a WII. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

Post deleted by *Blondblossom*

well i dont buy the Wii for me it was my daughters and what i do when she is not home stays with me. LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
i had to see Dh today to sign the taxes papers. because when he dropped them off i was in the bathtub and of course he didnt sign them and then he didnt drop off the state. he said he picked up his mom's tax papers as well as ours and he thought he gave everything.(yea right) and of course when i went down there i called it right when i said he would have hickeys all over is neck. i did not mention nothing i pointed on the papers where he needed to sign and i said thank you and i am off to the post office. so when i get home i have a message to call him. so i thought i might have left some papers there. no. he wanted to know why i left in such a hurry and i didnt say bye. i said well i had to get the papers in the mail since you had waited so long for them to be done.( i have been on him since january) he said i know he said there is something different about you.(i am thinking yea there is i am not falling for no more BS)i said well i will let you go i was just returning your phone call i thought i might have left something there. i said bye and hung up. dont you know he stopped by the house today on his way home and visit with our daughter then he left me 50 dollars. i was working out in the yard. he said bye and i just threw up my hand and wave. and went back to what i was doing. Whew!!!! it was hard not to comment on those on his neck. and when i got to the store he had not made it in yet and his cousins were working and they was saying that dh seems so down and depressed and that he snaps at the least little thing. i guess when OW calls she gets smart with them so of course being who they are they do things to make her mad. which i think is funny. anyway his one cousin said that he told dh that he messed up royal on OW and i guess dh agreed. he said he didnt know how good he had it when he was with me. he said that at least when he came home from work he could relax and he could tell me anything but with OW it is stressful because everything that he does is being questioned that there is not no peace at home. he told his cousin all he does is sleep till it is time for him to go to work.
i dont think what his cousin told me was a lie he said he told him this 2 weeks ago and he dont think things are anybetter because his attitude hasnt changed. he said he isnt happy about the move. i said i cant help him he is own his own. he was will to give up everything for her now he has to come to facts that grass is not greener on the other side. i said i know that he is not happy it shows in his words, face and his health. which has really spiralled down since they been together. i said he has to be the one to fix what he has done i cant no more. he gave me a hug saying that i will always be a part of the family.
kinda a tense day but i made it!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Post deleted by *Blondblossom*