My story is around here somewhere. Found out the WW is still in contact with OM. She didn't really leave her job. Were back to she doesn't want to work on the M. Can't really say I'm shocked by this, as the pieces never really fit together.

I'm dissappointed, but I always knew it was a long shot. Just going to have accept that I'm never really going to get the truth or any answers about all this mess.

Anyway, looks like I'm out of the marriage building business for a while, so I probably wont be back around much.

For all those that offered advice and support, I sincerely appreciate it.

Keep fighting the good fight.

I am so sorry to hear this, but like you not really surprised that she is still in contact.

Best wishes in your personal recovery and all that you do rprynne, and remember that sometimes it helps us to heal when we help others. Your experience and hard fight might be of benefit to share with others.

And you did give the hard fight, so I know that if nothing else you have grown through all of this and personal growth is always a good thing...for you and any fortunate enough to benefit from who you are.

rprynne,

My heart breaks for you. I can't imagine what I would do if we were to return to the days of an active A.

Stop by from time to time and help out.

May God grant you peace...

Mark

Thanks for the kind words.

My WW left town to return back to work today.

This latest catching her in breaking no contact was troubling. She had gone to bed and I was up late. She had her cell phone sitting out and (as I'm sure many BS are prone to do) I took a look. There was a call that came in from OM's city, but a number I did not recognize. Guess OM got a new cell phone. He left a message.

I asked my WW to get up and let's listen to the message together. I could tell she didn't want to, but I didn't give her much choice. The message, "Hey, its me, give me a call". It wasn't so much that it was proof that contact continued, as I already suspected that. It was the "normalcy" of the message.

No secret cell phone, no panicked I need to speak to you, no you told me not to call this number, or not to call you when you were at your house, or not to call you again. No tone of not expecting a prompt call back.

The WW green lighted the contact. In my mind, nothing else really matters.

So, that's it. I'm not sharing my wife (or what used to be my wife) with some OM.

I spent the rest of the weekend being as cival as I could. I won't speak with her, while she is gone. I'm sure this will drive her into OM's arms, I'm sure he will do a great job of supporting her making the "tough" but "right" decision to "start over".

I used to think hope was the best of things. But I'm tired of being right, while hoping I was wrong. I'm tired of being dissappointed. I miss being "pleasantly surprised". I guess its time to remove all expectations.

Her birthday is tommorrow and I am saddened at the prospect of throwing those gifts away.

{{{{rprynne}}}}

So sorry Rprynne

You've done way more than you ever had to to rehabilitate your WW.

Godspeed in your future endeavors.

This is your life. The good times from here on out so should be so much sweeter having endured the last few years of disrespect and tribulations.

Seek out the life YOU deserve. You ARE a good man.

Mr. Wondering

rprynne,

I don't even know what to say, except that I'm sorry. Do you have a plan? Plan B? Separation? Divorce?

I want to thank you for all the times you shared your thoughts and oberservations about my sitch. You seem to have a kind heart and giving spirit. You deserve to be treated with care and respect.

Wishing you the best,
--SC

rprynne,

I have to second SC's sentiment. Thanks for all your help. Sorry you're disappointed with the way things look at the moment, but I have no doubt that the best days of your life are ahead of you.

don't throw them away

depending on what the gifts are ... donate them to a good cause

Pep

rprynne, I am so sorry.

It looks like our dates of coming aboard MB are about the same time frame.

You have fought a good fight, and deserve peace.

May god bless you and keep you,

k.d.'s heartbreak

Don't know your story. Sad things didn't work out. Sometimes despite our very best efforts things still fall short.

I had to leave the forum for a long time. Yet, compelled to re-visit to wrk on some unhealed wounds. Extremely different unusual place when I returned.

You can always come back anytime, any hour, any nano sec and leave the same way. Give & take. Take & give.


That's the best part. What ever works for you! Fatigue takes it's toll. I know what that's like. Take very good care of yourself!


Keep the faith, keep in touch & enjoy peace!

rprynne:

I haven't been around for a while so when I saw this post I was a little surprised. I guess that all of us BS's learn to hope for the best while expecting the worst.

I don't feel much like an expert on these matters as I continue to struggle with my own demons and roadblocks to recovery. I do believe that the MB principles offer us the best of all alternatives to not only destroy the A but to rebuild our own lives and marriage.

I feel for you at this time of decision for you. Although I am certainly not an expert in Plan B matters, it does appear that the time is close.

As for the possibility of reconciliation, it is well documented that there is no possibility for reconciliation while the A is continuing and that NC is the prerequisite for the A ending. From what I have seen of your story in the past, you have seemed to follow the principles of MB well and done your part to this point. At some point, if the marriage has any chance of reconciliation, it will take both of you putting in a lot of effort. I have written before that I believe that most of the time the BS carries the load early on in the process but at some point, in the marriages that truly become even better after reconciliation, it is only logical that the load must be shared.

My advice to you is to evaluate what is now in the best interest of you. Even if and when your WW sees the light and wants to carry her part of the burden, the journey is still difficult. Making a committment to start your own personal recovery puts you in a better position regardless of her long term choices. Good luck and hope for the best for you.

NT

Rprynne,

A few weeks ago, you quietly posted to my thread (I SAID I'M SORRY, why can't you ust get over it?) and JKG said you really helped him. I hope you realize how, as painful as they are, your experiences and willingness to share them have been a blessing to more than you may realize.

Thank you and God Bless,

Ace

Again, thanks for the kind words.

Its also nice to hear you might have helped someone.

I don't really have a plan. I am operating under the assumption that a divorce is on the way. I guess I'm going to be exclusionary or manage by exception for a while.

I'm sure I'll check in from time to time. If I see anything I can help with, I will try to jump on.

I don't really know your story, but I've read some of your posts to others here.

I have recently returned to plan B, and I am thinking on Plan D. I may be ready to have this over. I feel as you do. I post everyday, but I limit how much now. I am feeling a bit drained from all of this and am taking a bit of a break. Maybe taking a break is what you need.

I don't think that a recovered marriage is the only way to be a success; I believe that growing and learning and moving on to be happy DESPITE all of this mess is SUCCESS, too. So, that being said, I wish you success...

RP,

U r leaving now? Just when you have the most to contribute and can receive the kind of support you need? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

L.