Hi - good to see you here.<P>You know - there are always 2 sides to every story. But we are here not to defend ourselves but to buld up our marriages.<P>There is a section in Basic concepts about honesty - and emotional needs.<P>Most conflict is bread by mis communication. When two spouses are not communicating - you bet you have conflict. Conflict can be a real love buster.<P>I think by both of you agreeing to go to a counselor - this is a real step in the right direction. <P>Good luck, and come back!<BR>

I am so ANGRY! I've only been here once to read the replies to my origional posting, and today I come in to discover my H has been here multiple times telling lies about me. He is accusing me of having an affair with the OW's H. I'm trying my best to be nice to him and get our marriage back on track, but he's just tossing the "marriage busters" at me as hard and fast as he can. He still refuses to even try to be nice to me or say he loves me. He says it takes time to heal. Meanwhile he continues to hurt. How am I supposed to heal? How long do I have to take this?

Golly,<BR>I remember how angry I was.... I remember feeling there was NO hope. Things have changed sooo much, by ME changing! I couldn't believe how quick it started changing! <P>My husband refuses to come here and post. He thinks there is someone on the board here that I would like to have an internet affair with! Ha Puleeese!!!! <P>But, he has to admit that in just a couple months we both have the marriage at 80% of what we have always dreamed of. Now, we both believe it is possible, no longer lump all the bad in one bag and dress each other with those things. Instead we are both trying very hard to learn more how we can build our marriage. He isn't here at marriage builders - but he is responding to the changes I have made. The first change that I made was to stop the lovebusters.<P>The Lovebusters take away deposits in the emotional lovebank. Go and read Basic Concepts - and come back soon. I know you can make a difference in your marriage if you want to, and if your husband does to, it is amazing how fast you can rebuild and have the marriage that you've always "dreamed of".<P>It is much easier to build a good marriage than to start over with negatives from the Big "D" - and try and build a life with someone new. You will eventually end up at this point with any subsequent relationship too. So, you are ahead of the game right now. We will root you on to win!!!!!<BR>