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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 60
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Posts: 60
I know who the OW is, have her address, her email address and her phone number. She is apparently separated from her husband and I have only his name, can't find anything else on him

What is the recommendation of contacting the OW? I was thinking you DON'T CONTACT OW????? But now I'm not sure.

Sometimes I feel like sending her an email saying "He's all Yours" I just wonder if my WH lies to her like he lies to me. Seems like he only see's her maybe once a week after 7pm and spends the night. His clothes are a dead give away its like gee I haven't seen that shirt in a while, where was it??? Duh at the OW house.

This stuff is just driving me crazy.............


Married 21 years
BS(Me) 54
WH 47
Children 26,23,27,14
D Day 1/8/07
D Day 1/22/08
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138
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what would you be hopeing to gain from contacting her?

you already know the OW doen't care about you or your marraige or she wouldn't be with a man shw HAS to know is married if he's onlywith her once a week

I can't imagine anything that would come from it that would help to save your marraige.

maybe others can

i would focus on contacting her H....even if they ARE separated, he may not know WHY and he may not know about the A

THAT is where your power is!

locate him and contact him

EXPOSE THE A!

that is the first thing to try to end the A

Joined: Sep 2003
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Don't bother contacting her. Do more investigating and contact her husband. That is the best way to end the affair. It doesn't matter if she says they are "separated".

Joined: Sep 2005
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I WOULD contact her just in case she doesn't know he is married. If she knows and is still bumping uglies with your H... well, then she is a POS and you can expect nothing good out of her.

Joined: Mar 2007
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Her husband has moved to HI and I hear they have a cleaning business together. I just don't know how to get any info other than that about him. Boy I'm tempted to hire a PI....

I try to think that because he only see's her once a week its just a sex thing and will wear off, but its been going on for some time. I guess that he's addicted to her cause he sure isn't interested in me.

I'm just frustrated and need to vent and need to figure this out. Who do you expose the affair to? The kids know, a few close friends know, I told his mother, not sure who else to expose it to?

Joined: Jul 2005
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my h told me that the OWH knew all about the A and had left her

he lied!

he was only trying to get me not to contact him

when i did contact him....turns out that he had used reverse lookup to find my address from numbers on thier phone bill and sat in front of my house many times....he drove a whole hour just to sit there....but never contacted me to tell me about the A

because they told him i already knew.....

don't beleive anything they say!

and....i used reverse look up too and drove the whole hour to sit in front of his house....i even hid in the bushes (NOT my proudest moment)

and i never contacted him because i beleived them

get some feedback from here before making your final decision about contacting OW....i still think it's a waste of time but that's justs my opinion

sometime you just feel like you have to do something to make peace with yourself (like hiding in the crappy bushes to see if her H still lives with her)

IF you feel that you won't be at peace until you contact her, then at least don't offer to "give your H to her"

use it as a way to try to break up the affair and a part of exposure....only contact her if you feel she doesn't know he's married OR if you think he's told her you are separated...going to separate....divorced...or going to D

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Quote
Who do you expose the affair to? The kids know, a few close friends know, I told his mother, not sure who else to expose it to?


everyone!

Joined: Oct 2000
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find her husband ~~~> contact him

hire a PI service if you have to


Pep

Joined: Nov 2002
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Someday I will contact my WH ho. I want to be able to tell her exactly what I think of her. Not that she would care but I need to get it off my chest.

Her H had the chance to tell my Wh his feelings....he caught him sneaking down the street going towards her house. He would park at a ball field in the neighborhood (probably so no one would see his truck at her house). OWH told him to turn the F around because his kids were there and do not need to be exposed to a POS like him. He then took out a picture of his SD and DS and told him his kids loved him...could he say the same about his own kids.
He called me to tell me about the confrontation and said if it wasn't for his kids he would of beat the crap out of him but he did feel better. My WH just stood there sputtering not really saying anything. But apparently he did turn around and got home.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Mar 2007
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I think I get it don't contact OW. OK

Now about finding husband, how do you find a PI to hire? Any advise, I'd love to get one so I get the full picture and stop driving myself nuts!!!!!!!!!

Thanks everyone, this really does help.


Married 21 years
BS(Me) 54
WH 47
Children 26,23,27,14
D Day 1/8/07
D Day 1/22/08
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138
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i looked in the phone book and then i called and asked questions. I even met with one.

they are expensive...i decide to try to find him first and resort to the PI only if needed

in the end, i decided to first try finding him myself

that's why i went to OW house....sure enough, he was still living there so he wasn't hard to find

1st check that out for your self first since you have OW address

you can also call and see if he answers....dail *67 to block your number

2nd try ZabaSearch.com or search People Finder

all you need is a name to start


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