Ok heres my story....

A couple weeks before x-mas last year me and my wife werent getting along and she packed her things and moved with our two kids into her mothers house. I moved out of our rental house a month after that and moved in with my Grandmother.

She came back once when I still had the house for a couple days but couldn't take it anymore so she went back to her mothers. Her mother has a very nice house and lives very extravagantly (corvette, 4 wheelers, hot tub, etc, etc).

Since then we have been talking and "got back together". What I mean by this is that we are still married but we only see each other on the weekends. She comes and stays at my grandothers with me on the weekends.

Her mother has a nasty habit of being at the bar almost every night. It is destroying her marriage. I told my wife I didn't want her going to the bar with her mother because it causes nothing but problems. She promised she wouldn't go but still continued to go behind my back. I finally got fed up with it and told her I didn't want anything to do with her anymoeif that was how she was going to treat my feelings.

After that she quit going. So we started taling again.

One of the initial reasons she left me was because she is addicted to marijuana. We both agreed to quit (we smoked together for 8 years) on August 1st of last year. I quit but she was never able to quit. She went to her mothers and her mother gave it to her to keep her smoking (my wife goes to the drug dealer and supplies her mother with the dope). The reason she left me 2 weeks before x-mas was according to her she couldn't keep lying to me about smoking (I was putting extreme pressure on her to quit). I even told her I would leave her if I found out she was smoking again.

This brings us up to a week ago. I got tired of the way we were living our relationship. I only got to see her a couple days a week and she made no effort to make me happy whatsoever. All I thought about was her. So last Tuesday we talked. I told her I couldn't "play house" with her anymore and I was done living like this. I told her either she moved in with me at my grandmothers or I didn't want any more contact with her. She reluctantly agreed to move in with me this weekend.

Up until today this was the plan. I was looking forward to having my family back together at last. It was too good to be true though. Her parents found out she was moving out and said they would buy her a BMW. They have big plans on moving up north for the summer and my wife taking care of their 16 year old daughter (who is a little devil that they cant handle). Well this morning she calls and tells me she can't move in with me. Her reason was she didn't want to switch the kids in school again as they were jsut getting used to their new school.

We have both agreed that her mothers house is not a good environment for our kids to be raised in. Her parents fight constantly, theres tons of marijuana use, and they get absolutely no discipline.

What do I do here? All I want is for my family to be back together. I love my wife so much but it seems all she is interested in is herself. She would do anything in the world for her parents but nothing for me. SHe says she loves me so much, but after knowing how I feel about the way our lives are going she still doesn't care about my feelings enough to move in with me.

Please help!!!!!

Domaru,
Welcome to the forum, it has really helped me make some decisions and realizations I would have never came to without some support. I can relate to your situation because an over bearing mother in law was also present in my marriage. We never saw eye to eye and I always argued with her thinking I could somehow win. The realization is that you cannot win a battle with your mother in law for your wife, you just can't. All you are doing is pressuring your wife to choose which she cannot do. Even if drugs are involved lest calling the police (which would make things worse) there is nothing you can do. At this point I think you need to let her go and start living your own life for your children. There is a great site I found in another tread www.stopyourdivorce.com it does have some good advice but I do not necessarily agree with everything. After reading it I did not feel so desperate and realize how I was losing my dignity among many other things. Search the internet you will be amazed what you can find that helps. Take pieces of everything and apply what you can relate to.

Hope everything works out for you.

You're dealing with a spouse who has an addiction. That puts a whole different perspective on salvaging your relationship, and Marriage Builders won't necessarily apply to your situation. You and your spouse need to sit down together and honestly discuss what both of you want out of this relationship in the future. The children obviously complicate this process. Doing this with a marriage counselor would be a good first step. The matter of you and your spouse's drug use needs to be a big part of these discussions. You can't make your wife quit doing drugs. Only she can do that and if she has her parents to fall back on enabling her behavior that makes this process that much harder. Ultimately you have to act in your children's best interest. Seeing a counselor can help you to make those tough decisions.