O.K I know this sounds strange, but I am actually jealous of the OW.

She has my H, she gets to sleep with him everynight etc. I have no one.

Yeah I know, why should I be jealous of her? She got a guy that cheated and walked out on his family.

I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself as I know the D will be final soon and WH will still be living with OW, he has someone to come home to everynight, have sex with etc. I don't.

I feel as if the OW has won and they both are laughing their way to happiness.

Cat,

I'm sorry thst you are feeling like this today.

Even with these feelings you are still better off than the OW. You know where you stand in life. She will always have in the back of her mind the tought of "If he did this with me will he do it to me?" I would hate to live with this thought everyday.

(((hugs)))

Cat,

You bet. The difference is that my WW is still at home with me and hasen't seen the OM since she left her job there (about 6 months ago) They still talk every day so they are still deep in the affair.

The thing that eats me is that she is SO enamored by this guy. He has a hold over her like I have never seen. I asked her the other night when this madness was going to end, and she told me she knows it has to end but she just feels so sad and she is worried she is going to slip into depression. That is like a knife in the gut to a BS. It is like my feelings don't matter at all.

The thing that kills me is that nobody likes this guy. The people that work for him, the people that do business with him, etc. He really is just an arrogant jerk. I keep asking myself 'Why doesn't she see what everyone else sees'

Yes, I am very jealous of the other person. Why can't I have a hold over my wife like he does.

Hang tight Cat. I am sorry for what you are going through.

I am jeaolous of the attention that the OM got in my FWWs situation. I was starved for some attention in my marriage and they were getting it all.

This is the one that is hard to explain. No offense to FWS's here but in most cases the person that the WS is having an affair with is a pathetic loser person of some sorts. There is no explaining it.

[/quote]

This is the one that is hard to explain. No offense to FWS's here but in most cases the person that the WS is having an affair with is a pathetic loser person of some sorts. There is no explaining it. [/quote]

That is a tough one. Why couldn't the WS see this person like we could. Or anyone else for that matter. Scum, POS.
I'll never understand it.

My WW actually admitted that nobody liked OM, Her comment was "I guess I see something in him that nobody else does"

How can a BS not feel somekind of jealousy. It would be us trying to get out of the marriage if we didn't care what our spouse was doing.

Even better is that my WW KNOWS he had ongoing affairs with 2 other women in the company while she was also having her affair with him. Yet she STILL can't see what a [email]scumb@g[/email] this guy is. When I brought up this little fact one day, she said their relationship was different than the others (it would be funny if it wasn't so devestating) If we didn't have a child, I have no doubt in my mind that she would have left me already for him (he left his family thinking that she would follow)

You're jealous if a TURD ... think about that

Pep

Oh I know its crazy to be jealous of OW. WH definitely traded down. But I guess I am just envious that WH has someone, even though she is a wh$re, and I don't.

I know it's dumb!!!

I'm not jealous OF the OM. I'm jealous of the fact that these jerks experienced the attention of my wife. Actually the PA OM experienced everything about my w. I just hate the fact that they "conquered" her. Got their way. Got their ego fed. I don't know.

It is not dumb, cat. It is just human emotion.

All this will one day come to pass. Even if he never tells you, he will regret his decision some day.

When that fresh new wh0re smell wears off, and life starts to settle into the normal routine (pay the bills, go grocery shopping,etc)he will probably look back and miss his old life. Don't forget, you two got to know each other before you got married. You two dated and probably created a lot of special memories. They were most likely thrust together due to the circumstances of thier affair. They don't *truly* know each other.

I came to the conclusion that even if I never met my wife, all the chaos that is going on in our home right now would be happeing to some other poor schmuck that she was married to. My wife tends to live in a fantasy world. If something goes wrong, she bottles up all of her emotions and runs away. My wife takes ownership of NOTHING. I think that characterizes a lot of WS's.

When Wayzilla and Gollum get together after the divorces as appears to be the plan, I won’t be jealous. I would want a front row seat and popcorn. FOX Network could start a new reality show, “When Infidels Attack (Each other). Maybe MB could sponsor some commercials

Through...


I hear ya about not taking ownership. WH still has yet to admit to me he's having an A. Says they are just roomies!

I know I have heard from alot of people about what you say, when reality of day to day life sets in etc. he'll regret what he did. But they've been living together a year already. They pay bills etc. Shouldn't the reality have set in by now?! That's why I think he's truly happy with her.

Cat:

I got rid of my JEALOUSY of HER..EARLY ON after D-DAY...

Starting NICELY, I realized that she was DIFFERENT than ME..not BETTER in any way....

Moving on, their RELATIONSHIP STARTED IN THE GUTTER and therefore will REMAIN IN THE GUTTER...Their relationship was established and maintained by lying, dishonesty and deceit..they will forever be SUSPICIOUS of each other..My H has told me that his OW used to provoke him by saying how she could easily find someone else to "F..."

That's the other thing..the OW is a HO...

Why are you jealous of a lying, deceitful, HO???

According to my religious beliefs, your marriage was sanctioned by God. God brought you and your H together and Satan drove you apart...evil won over..and unless they REPENT..they will burn in he//...

Cat, hold your head up. You will never ever sink down to HER LOW LEVEL. You are like DIAMONDS. She is ROCKS. You deserve a BANQUET and don't want his CRUMBS.....

Cat,

In some ways, I understand your feelings. In all honestly, the fear of being alone is what kept me with my FWH. I felt a great deal of resentment towards OW in the early period following D-day, until I realized that if she and FWH had ended up together, they both would have been miserable. In the blink of an eye, FWH went from having the ego boost associated with OW's out and out worship of him to the reality of what it meant to be in a relationship with a completely needy person.

(((Cat))), I know that you are hurting, but in the big picture, a year isn't very long. Your WH and OW may still be In false bliss, or maybe WH has to keep himself convinced that OW is just what he needs...but how can he not try to think that. If he didn't, he would have to acknowledge that this OW is what he mistakenly gave up his marriage for.

Trust that sooner or later, reality will set in. For your own sake though, you shouldn't put your life on hold waiting for him to get some sense. Make you your highest priority.

Some wonderful guy will come along someday and while WH and OW have reached the point of wondering what they ever saw in each other, you will be riding high.

It has taken me a long long time to get to this point, but OW doesn't matter to me at all anymore. My marriage isn't what I had hoped for and I will always have the scars created by FWH's infidelity. But, in the end, if I decide to end my marriage, it will be with the knowledge that I have tried hard to make things work.

When I really think about it, FWH is the one that I really envy more. It still seems to me that he has no scars from his actions. For all of his words about regret, I really do think that what he really regrets most is how his own actions changed his life for the worse and not how much he hurt me.

I know why I held on to the pain for so long, because once it was gone, there were no feelings left.

Who

I'm not jealous of the OM. There are days when I despise him and days when I pity him, but I don't think I've been jealous of him. Jealous of my WW, perhaps, that she has someone, but I know that will come to a crashing halt when the bottom falls out.

sdguy,

Yes I agree. I think I am more jealous of WH because he has someone, even though she is a wh$re.

I do feel jealousy however towards the OW because I feel that she got something of mine, that she won. And she's probably basking in that glory knowing she took him away from me. Good ego boost for her.

Yeah I know, WH is no prize after doing what he did...cheat, lie etc. But I still feel that way.

Catgirl,

I am jealous of my FWH and the OP. First, the FWH for all the good, positive feelings he got to have during the A at the expense of me and our sons. I don't think he suffered any pains of what he was doing while he did them, only getting caught bc he didn't want anyone to think badly of him (outside of me and the kids, we mattered the least). The OP for the same reason and she got to see one side of FWH, it wasn't her running him to the ER for a migraine or doing his laundry, it was me. In our sitch, MOW lived with her in-laws during the week and went home in another state to her BH and two young daughters on the w/e. The BH did pt work and raised their kids, thus, she was free as a bird to pursue FWH during the week. Her BH never knew about the A, which I still regret. I am still considering letting her BH know just so I can sleep better at night. Of course everyone I know, and especially the FWH, think that the motivation is revengs. Thus, I have been in limbo, thinking and believing the MB way for exposure, and the rest of the world judging me....

I say make the CHOICE not to FEEL this way...

Because you BELITTLE YOURSELF by being JEALOUS of a "wh$re...

She didn't actually WIN your H..not the H you had...

She is with a facscimile of your H who now lives in a PIGSTY or TURDSVILLE with HER...

"BASKING IN THE GLORY??"..I'm not seeing GLORY..I'm seeing FILTH..she is BASKING IN "FILTH"...I see MUD and TURDS..ICK...

Changing your thinking..will change your feelings...

USE MY IMAGE OF THEM....