Hi All,<P>I’m in the sixth week of recovery. Do any of you ever get wore out? Everything is going great. But when they said it would take a lot of work they weren’t kidding. Some nights I go to bed and am just exhausted. All of the extra attention and work on the relationship can be physically tiring. Do any of you have the same experiences?<P>TxOnline<BR>

TxOnline,<BR>Your post just hit a chord with me (the betrayer). It is something my husband would say. My thoughts on this are, relationships are work. One of the reasons things got so bad is that he wants the marriage on autopilot so he can put his energies into his career and the children. I am trying to change all that! Please make this extra work and energy part of your life! Eventually, the returns should outway the effort. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

TryingAgain,<P>I hear ya. Have no fear that I am working hard at making the relationship work. I never said or believed it would be easy..BUT...I really didn't think it would be this physically exhausting. I will do whatever it takes...BUT...I also expect the same from my spouse. At this point I see him doing some...but he wants everything to be back to normal. The way it used to be. Well we all know it can never be like it used to be. It can be different (still GREAT) but never the same.<P>But it does take LOTS of work!!!

Hi TxOnline,<P>I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I guess after being so complacent for so long, it's difficult to put forth that energy needed to sustain a healthy relationship. Sometimes I wonder if I settled for my H because he was so low maintenance. Of course now I know differently. I love him and I don't want to lose him, but sometimes I ask myself if it's all worth it. I can't baby him for the rest of his life and I have a child who needs extra attention and energy from me. He often drains me by the time my H gets home from work. Then I have to be attentive to his "needs". Something I've neglected for so long. I'm hoping that putting forth that energy towards my H and this relationship will become so commonplace that it won't drain me so much. Ya know, basically become second nature. It's just so hard when you're not used to doing it. Plus the added burden of the emotional toll his affair took on me. <P>One of his major needs is for me to do a lot of things with him outside the home. Nothing strenuous, mind you, but my depression kept me lifeless for so long, that it's difficult to go out on a daily basis. It mostly consists of errands and shopping, so it's not hard and I enjoy getting out of the house more often. It's just so physically draining. I have health problems on top of it all, and it makes it even more tiring. <P>I do have to say that I like the new me. Actually I've found the old me. So, a lot has and will be gained from this effort. I hope it will for you also. Take care.<P>------------------<BR>The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.<BR>Helen Keller

Distrusting,<P>Good to hear from you and to know that I’m not alone in being tired. I know it will be worth it in the end and that in time it will become second nature. I hope that at some point I will see the same type of hard work coming from my spouse.<P> <P>TxOnline<P>