Good morning Dev,

Hope today is a bright and sunny day... and your feeling better.

I can feel it in my bones today your going to be lucky in the lottery.

Just checking in.

Still

Hi Larry,

Thanks for sharing all of that... it was interesting in a way to see how the dyke and fluff (are they really called that? lol) relates to each other.

I totally agree with you about the lesbian, in that she is indeed expert at manipulation and the sweet talker. As I mentioned earlier, she has most of the ladies at the office fawning over her, and they're all straight! Except for her lady boss who is apparently immune to her charms, and the two can't get along. WS related to me one time how one time as they were coming out of the office and it started drizzling and how the lesbian ran to her car to get her umbrella to bring WS to her car.. even though there was hardly any rain. WS thought it was overboard, but she was pleased inside too.

After exposure, her mum was upset with her over her relationship with OW, and she promised her mum that she would stop. But mum is 5 hours drive away, and she only sees them about once a month, so who knows what she's up to back in the city, especially now that she's conveniently moved out from under my watchful eyes?

I'm not about to kill myself like your neighbour did, I'd sooner strangle that dyke! As for a fight between me and OW, well, lets just say I once told her if I ever saw her around my place, I would fear for her life, and she believed me.

That said, she doesn't fit your classic description of a dyke. She's small sized, slender and tries to blend in by dressing like a woman would... thought mostly she's in business pants, but I have seen her in a dress. And perhaps that's what threw me and my WS off, though initial suspicions were that she's a lesbian, I never quite made the connection that she was after my WS, cause I was sure my WS wasn't stupid enough to get involved with a lesbian... Oh well, not the first time I've been wrong. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, though I suspect they're still seeing each other, I have no proof. She's staying with her best friend, and she definitly wouldn't spill the beans on WS to me -we never used to get along very well even pre-A.

I guess I want some kind of closure in the end. If WS is still seeing the lesbian, then I will tell her to remove the rest of her stuff immediately and prob file for a D soon after. If she isn't, then I will still have some hope for a reconcilliation further down the road.

But what I really want to do is to treat this lesbian like the man she thinks she is, and do it the old fashioned way. Damn, but I would get great satisfaction from that! But I wouldn't do something that stupid and ruin my life over that worthless trash.

Hi still,

Yeah... hopefully... keeping my fingers crossed <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, like the title says... preparing for the worse but hoping for the best outcome from this. Have started making enquiries for a divorce lawyer today

Better to prepare for the worst and plan for the best. Hoping for the best can lead to heartache.

L.

Larry, reading that and imagining my WS and that lesbian doing that.. man, makes me sick. There should be a saying "Lesbians are cool, unless one of them's your wife!"

From what she's told me, it never went beyond heavy petting when they were making out in the car... and I asked her MANY MANY times. Of course, I'd only trust my WS as far as I could throw her...

Dev,

Did you win the lottery?

I'm preparing myself also for the worst... which seems to be happening. But I still hope for the best. The best right now is to have a better M with my H. And if that doesn't happen the best would be to heal from the hurt and live a good life. And maybe someone to share that life with.

Tday is officially Day2 of plan B. Thought I had started it last week but was weak and WH broke through.

How did you do today?

Still

How she dresses is no clue. They have to work. How they dress whilst going out to gay bars is what counts. This is where their indentity is allowed to surface.

Ok, you want closure. You aren't going to get in any form other than the one you now have. Females being the way they are, moving out is about as much as you can hope for in terms of closure. They don't do guy talk.

Larry

Sigh... if only I were as lucky in the lottery as I was unlucky in love....<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Hang in there. I think deep down we're all stronger than we think we are... and we have the great folks here at MB to support us! That counts for a lot, it really does. Friends and relatives may be supportive and they may try to understand, but nobody else can truly understand until they are in our shoes... and hopefully one day, our WS's will be in these same shoes so they will know what its like and what they have done to us.



Today was ok. woke up late and was late for work (again!), but is ok cause I don't report to anyone at the office and my Director sits in a different building <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

That's one of the things I've been thankful to God for -this job. WS used to complain that I was very relaxed etc, but really, if I had been in any other job, with the non-performance I've been putting the last few months, I would have been fired long ago! Only now that I'm starting to pick up the pieces of my life am I starting to pick up the pace of work and make up for all the lost time.

After the last few posts by Larry and yourself and the others, I've felt loads better. I no longer feel the need to contact her -when I do, I just try and picture the two of them having SF...ugh! Else I think back to the time just before she left when she was here, but yet, wasn't here.. and the desire for her to be back home without a changed attitude towards the marriage wanes significantly.

Still no reply from the lawyer on fees and other stuff.. maybe their email isn't working... oh well, I'll give them a call tomorrow or somehting, now that I've gotten some of my voice back! good night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Dev,

I hope you have a very peaceful sleep.

You brought tears to my eyes what you said about the ones helping you. Believe me it goes both ways. If I knew how to make tha little boxes I would, but I'm lucky I figured out how to even post <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I'm very fortunate that my boss has been and is very understanding of the situation. She has cut me alot of slack. The girls I work with also have been great also.... they know the days I'm out of it and double check my work. Which is good because I don't want to hurt someone from my mistakes. That's one thing about being in the health field.

You're brave to think of them together to stop contact..... the thought of my WH with his ho wakes me right up and I have anxiety. I hate the movies going through my head... remembering things we did and wonder if he is doind that with her.

What I try to do when I'm thinking of contacting him is the way he was treating me before. The hostility he would point in my direction. The way he would make me feel like I was nothing. That's what I keep in my head to tell myself I do not want that man back. I want the man he was.... and if that man comes I'm ready to improve our marriage.

Talk to you in the morning(my morinig)

Still

Morning still... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Took me a couple of seconds to understand what you meant by "little boxes".. then I realized you meant the quote boxes. I'll teach ya.. really simple.

When you wanna quote someone's post in your reply, instead of clicking the 'reply' button, you click the 'quote' button. Find the phrase or phrases you wanna quote and enclose it like this (quote)...the quote, whatever it is, then type (/quote) to end. But use these brackets [ ] instead of the ( ) in the example above. Now everything within that (quote)..(/quote) will be in the box. Do this as many times as you like until you're done. You can always preview the post to see if you did it correctly. Makes it easier to reply to a specific thing someone said.

Anyway, had a good sleep last night. I guess my brain has finally adjusted to me sleeping in the MIDDLE of the bed instead of off to one side <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I've woken up in the mornings to find myself sleeping diagonally to the bed, so yeah, I think I'm getting used to it. lol!

She came this morning to collect her mail again, this time it didn't really bother me that she didn't come up or anything... next is to train myself NOT check if she's checked the mail...lol... I feel like a dog sometimes, that I have to re-train myself to do (or not do) certain things again.. but its all good <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hope you have a good day..err.evening.

Just saw from her email that she's booked 2 tickets for a movie in the evening... I was very tempted to head down there and see who she's going with, OW or the friend she's staying with. But I'd finally decided that knowing was NOT going to help... you guys are right, if she decides to come back, then she will have to account for all of this anyway.. and if she doesn't come back, then knowing if she's with the lesbian or not will not make a difference.

Next I gotta train myself to STOP looking at her emails... sheesh.. my day was going will until I did that

Since her birthday is this Saturday, should I call her to wish her, or simply drop her an SMS saying Happy Birthday WS or dear.. or not do anything?

On one hand I want to make it seem like I'm moving on, on the other it IS her birthday and thought it'd be nice to just wish her. Of course, if she's with OW, then whatever that comes from me will just be an annoyance, but if she's not, it may show that I'm not cold-hearted and forgetful etc... what do you guys think?

Good morning Dev,

Okay I tried that but your whole thread came up. Granted it' 3:30 in the mornig so maybe my brain isn't quite functioning. Do I delete the things I don't want to show or does it do it automatically when you hit continue?

I'm such a slow learner on computers...when I first started my profession we used typewriters. Betcha the only time you saw one of those was either at an antique store or museum <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

As you can see I'm not sleeping well tonight. It's windy outside and I'm missing a partner to cuddle with. Tonight I miss having to shar bed with H.
Although it is a benefit having the whole bed and youright sleeping diagonally. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if he comes back <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I'm glad you slept better last night. It will get easier. I'm actually finding no contact right now better. It was really hard to see him and then watch him leave. So maybe right now it's better that you don't see her. Although makes it hard to plan A... just keep up what you're doing you seem to be doing better.

Still

You DELETE off the stuff you don't want.. and what are you doing up at 3.30 in the morning??


I'm flattered you think i'm THAT young... but no, I used to play with them at my grandpa's place.. he was using them until the mid '80s <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Well, if they DO come back then THEY will have to get used to sleeping at the corners when we're sleeping diagnoally...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


I hear ya. I'm getting back to reading novels, something I stopped doing shortly after I got married... now that I've got more time to myself I'm re-learning the joys of cuddling up in bed with a really good book and some tea. Second best to actually having the W (not WS) to talk to, but hey, beggars can't be choosers :P

Still [/quote]

Dev,

[quote[]Since her birthday is this Saturday, should I call her to wish her, or simply drop her an SMS saying Happy Birthday WS or dear.. or not do anything?]/quote

Let me try this again... I would send her a card at least. THat way she knows you remember her birthday. At one time were'nt you thinking of getting her a spa package? I just wouldn't go over the top. The thing about droppng by to see her if she is with OW that would hurt too much.

I'm up because I can't sleep. Although I'm going back to bed soon I have to work in 3 hours <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I think the wind howling woke me up and then those gears just start going.

Still

Ooopps,

Should of deleted the words quote huh <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Still

no no... you should enclose the word QUOTE in []

then when you want to close the box enclose /QUOTE in []

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

OK I think a card then.. will leave it in the mailbox so she can get it when she swings by to collect her mail. I don't think I want to blow money on the spa package at the moment, as I'm not sure that she isn't seeing OW. There will be plenty of time for pampering if she decides to come home and make this work

Dev,

Okay I'll try again tomorrow with the quote thingy.

I have to go back to bed....night

Still