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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 63
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 63
My WW is deciding whether she is going to move out or stay. she is about to leave on a 3 day trip for work. i was going to send her this tomorrow morning before she leaves. she was involved in a LTR with the manager of her previous company which never ended once she left (although she said it did) Please give input.

Dear WW

it seems strange for me to site here and write this since you are only a few feet away from me, but i feel this is the best way to communicate with you right now. this whole experience has been so painful, yet i feel like i have learned so much.

there is nothing more i would like to see then for us to remain together as a family. working together to make our marriage a success that is beneficial for us both. one where we both feel fulfilled and happy. i accept that i am responsible for 50% of the issues with our marriage, and for that i am truly sorry.

i know that i can't make you change your feelings, but i believe that we have so much invested in our family, that not to attempt to find a solution together would be a travesty. i don't beleive your feelings can or will change overnite, but I truly believe that with understanding, communication, and focusing on one another, we can find that love that once existed.

after yesterdays discovery, i realized that you have *never* looked at recovery and growth of our marraige as an option. you just seem to feel that your only options are to either leave or stay and fall into depression. you tell me i try to guilt you into staying, but, and you are aware of this, i can't *make* you feel anything. just like i can't *make* you feel 'in love' with me, i can't *make* you feel guilty. those feeling of guilt are yours and yours alone.

the first time i saw you, i turned to jeff and said 'that is the woman i am going to marry'. i thought you were the most beautiful woman i had ever seen. on our first date we went to the beach and we spent the whole night together. we played in the sand and i put sandcrabs down your cow overalls. i remeber it like it was yesterday. and on the day we were married, i still remeber how beautiful i thought you were as you were walking down the aisle. i beleived our marriage would be forever.

finally, i realize i can't make you do something you don't want to do. one of the things i have come to realize over the last few months is that if you truly love someone, sometimes you need to let them go. if this is what you truly feel is going to make you happy, then i will not stand in your way. please understand that i will not be able to 'be your friend' or support your through this. i need time heal and try to rebuild my life again.

all my love,
TTG


Please advise. Thank you all

Joined: Apr 2001
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
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TTG, what is the purpose of this letter? I am not getting it.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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I'm with Mel. While I understand there are things you want to say, realize it is a WS who will be reading it and she hates your family, making your heartfelt letter futile.

Save it for now. Let her move out. Make a recovery plan 4 U.

L.


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