My bf and I have been together for 11 years. He is an OTR driver and I was in the truck with him for the first 7 years that we were together. I love him but I hated being in that truck, I finally got out of it 4 years ago. Since leaving the truck our lives have drifted apart. He was never faithful before I got in the truck with him....in fact he told me that the only way that he would ever be faithful was if a woman was in the truck with him 24/7....that was one of the reasons I went into the truck. Since I have left the truck he has continued to see other women and I have turned my head.

He became involved with a woman 9 months ago and fell in love with her. This hurt me more than anything else. On New Year's day this year I told him that I had enough....hoping he would realize how much he was hurting me and change his ways. He spent New Year's and the following 2 weeks with her. All he heard was that it was over and he thought that was what I wanted. His mail still comes to my house because we were practically living together. I opened his credit card statement at the end of Feb and found that he had spent Valentine's day with this woman and had spent almost $1600 on her and had spent 3 weeks with her....buying her intimate wear, taking her to dinner, paying for hotel rooms, evenings out, etc. When I found this...I blew up because he had started talking to me again being all lovey dovey while he was still seeing her.

He came and saw me the following week. Told me that he loved me, he would make arrangements to see me every 2 weeks, spend holidays and vacations with me, would not pursue other women. The only thing is that I have since found out that he did this because the other woman told him he was messing up with me because she felt like he still had feelings for me. He has also continued to see her but is hiding it from me. I've heard through friends that he loved her and had even talked about making a life with her.

My question is...do you really think he will change...can I save this relationship? What can I do...I dearly love this man and I am willing to do whatever I need to do to make it work. (We do not have any children together)

I work at the same company that he does. We do not have any children together and our children from previous marriages are all grown. I really do love him dearly and want to make this work. Please help me.

save what?

I'm with bigkahuna...this site is called "MarriageBuilders". I know it sounds cold, but you have to face the reality that neither of you are in a truly committed relationship. The lack of taking marriage vows makes your relationship an "at will" one - either of you can leave it at their own will.

From what I've learned on this site so far, I won't be taking back my WW unless she is truly committed to our marriage, perhaps restating our vows or in a remarriage ceremony. I don't want to risk taking her back only to have her leave me again if I fail her again. After all, I'm only human, and we did say in our wedding vows "...for better or worse...".

Maybe try the relationships section of the forum for some advice.