nm

Jim... just so you know JK came to me and asked me to post my thoughts on her thread after reading my similar comments to another poster.

That was real helpful, Jim. The only one getting beat up was you because no one agrees with your irresponsible advice. She is getting good, sound advice from many sources, BS and non BS alike. JustLearning is not a BS, btw

This thread is more about you being frustrated that you can't defend your position, than anyone "beating up" on anyone. Good grief, what a disappointment, Jim.

Yes, I'm frustrated that you've relegated jk to a doormat because she cheated "first." I'm sorry if I don't support any form of infidelity.

And I am sorry you pull stunts like this when you can't defend your position, instead of presenting your position in a civil and adult manner like everyone else does. This is just sour grapes because others did not agree with you.

???? nevermind ???

here is my contribution to beating her up



would you like me to issue a formal apology? [color:"red"]<~~~ sarcasm [/color]

Talk about a slap across the face!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> Pep

No one is "beating her up." Jim is mad because no one agrees with him.

Jim,

Did something happen in your sitch? You normally don't get this mad when people don't agree with you.

What's up?

I know Mel, I read it ... Jim's arguement has become nonsensical for some reason .... BUT to put this CRAP up as a thread title:

Could we get some FWWs posting to jksmith's story so we don't just have a bunch of BSs beating her up

pisses me off ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

The old CRAP about "BSs like to beat up WSs" .... if that were true, none of us BSs would be so happily married!!!!

I friggin' want MARRIAGES to recover ... and that is the entire PURPOSE of even spending time posting to people!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Pep

Pep,

I'm not referring to you. I don't like infidelity in any form, and it makes me sick to hear that people are telling jk she just has to sit idly by while her H screws whatever woman he wants to because she cheated on him first. Listen, we all make mistakes in our marriages (I'll be the first to admit mine even though it didn't include infidelity), but that in no way excuses infidelity EVER. If her H wants to date other women, he can get a D. My guess is that he won't. If she doesn't want him to screw around in the meantime, I gave her advice on how to stop it. My position got crticized because it was too "insensitive of the BS's feelings." I thought this was an infidelity forum. I'm sorry if someone who got cheated on and says they are "separated" gets a green light to cheat. I'm disappointed in that viewpoint held here. I would have thought better of the people in this forum.

And to answer your question, M2L, my situation is doing just fine. I haven't had SF with my WW, but we have been kissing more frequently, and last night my WW said "I love you" without any initiation on my part. What do you think M2L? Is it okay for a BS to start sleeping around even if they don't pursue divorce?

It makes me sick to see someone who can't defend their position throw a tantrum like this. [you conveniently omit the fact that she abandoned the marriage for her OM] It is a complete waste of time on a forum where folks desperately need help. Not to mention that your title is insulting to every BS on this forum. ugh...

This thread is a waste of valuable forum time and I won't waste another minute on your tantrum.

YES you are ... you are FLAMING every BS who posted to her ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> Pep

Jim,

Giving my O here will not help jk's M either way so I'm getting in to it. I haven't even read her whole thread.

Jim, I do think you missed something on her thread though. Here is whatt MEDC said "Jim, if asked, I would advise you to handle your sitch in a very different fashion."

Why not ask him what his advise is? Get a dif view piont from him.

I am throwing a tantrum because you are defending infidelity. I don't care who cheated first. Two wrongs don't make a right. If you can't see that, I'm sorry. I'm done talking about this subject. However, I do not want you cutting down my opinion in my posts to jk. I have been one of the few posters that have been regularly trying to help her out.

Jim, I think the others agree with your position concerning the BS. And I agree as well. He should not be engaging in infidelity if he's still M'd.

I think what we disagree on is the approach jksmith should take at this point. I agree with what the others have suggested here. In fact, I think she should just proceed towards getting the D. Her H did not meet some of her needs before, and he seems less inclined to meet them now. And it's clear by his actions that he no longer values their M enough to stick to his vows. Proceeding to a D in this case might be the best choice.

As for the "kissing / no SF" situation with your FWW, I'm at the other side of the scale. I get the SF, but little kissing, and no ILYs for quite awhile. That's actually turning me off of SF at this point, because I suspect that she's doing the SF because she feels its one of my primary needs, something that she needs to do to "keep me happy", and not primarily because she loves me. What I'd give for a few kisses and an "I Love You"... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hey Jim,

Yeah, the title of your thread bothers me as well.

I don't think BS's beat up on FWW at all.

We all want the same things...recovered M.

Besides, as a FWW I'm really tough on WW...and/or wayward thinking. I frankly, think she doesn't yet APPRECIATE the damage she has done. She REALLY needs to GET that first. B/c until she does, she won't be able to work a successful Plan A.

I read the thread and think she's getting great advice.

Glad to learn your W is coming around, Jim. God knows you're a patient H.

~ Marsh

Jim:

Can't say that I don't agree with some of your points.

And JKS has alot of issues, let not cloud them with this, ok?

Change the thread title, at least...

BSs beat up FWW?

WTF?

Heeellllo........I'm a FWW and the best/most "advice/help/support" I've gotten here has been from BS's.

For crying out loud, Pep has started two threads in the last coupla days for me, the big bad FWW!

Thank God for the BSs here who are willing to help.

That's it LG - the title bugs me. Couldn't put my finger on it before, but that is it.

Sorry,

MEDC had me fired up when I posted this thread and it came through in the title...title changed.