I think mine has been WW for 12 years, been using our family at a place holder, until she wanted to jump ship and find her new life..... so I just sent this update to my lawyer, we are going to court Tuesday for Property Distribution, but wanted we are also talking about custody....

"The kids spent the night at grandma's house last night and their mother did not, guess St Patricks Party was more important that being with her kids. The weekend before that that is was her weekend she worked sunday and the oldest was with me for a 4H event, the last week she had them she worked late shift at Target, so the kids spent a lot of time with Grandma, so her first weekend with the kids she decided to pawn them off so she could go out.

My oldest said they spent the night at grandma's, I asked did their mother stay with them, he first said no. I asked to speak to WW, then my daughter
said oh she stayed with us. Then I asked to speak to WW, she confirmed she didn't spend the night with the kids.

Someone at chuch thought they saw her last night at the Flipside, the bar in the back of the coffee mill, that is why I questioned if she spent the night with them or not."

Also my oldest got a lower grade than normal on a science project because her mother didn't help work on it and my daughter called the night before it was due and needed me to get her and work on it that night, then when asked to stay later with me and finish it, WW got upset and said so my daugheter had to leave with a incomplete project.

By the way our 11 year daughter has a severe inner ear infection and was put on antibotics Friday, saturday night she out at grandma's so WW could go out.

I told her about wanted DD11s science project, she told me that it was my fault it looked so bad and that she got a B grade, I did it at the last minute. She threatened to have DD11 testify that it was crappy because we rushed it on the night before it was due.... Some facts, The project was known about for 5 weeks, DD11 specifically asked me to work only on half the project leaving the rest to do with her mom, I droppe DD11 off on Saturday after our 4H event in Greensboro, WW worked that sunday the girls stayed with Grandma half of the day, but had half the day with mom.... I get a frantic call Monday Morning from DD11 stating the project is due next day and she hasn't started project board or write up. I pick her up after school and we do her board but WW doesn't let he stay late to finish so the board is done half way, and when she gets to WW's place its not worked on further. WW got upset that all 3 girls wanted to stay with me rather go home with WW.

WW told me that the girls have said several thing in Divorce Care for kids, about thing I do, like staying on the computer or them seeing porn or me text messagin. Now I have no access to the divorce care counselor's. We know WW is habitual liar and manipulator, I would think the court only wants the kids into a shared counseling invironment that both parents can participate in and have input into the discussion about their children. The other problem is that WW keeps the kids out til 10PM for divorce care on a school night. Three weeks ago, she asked to take the two oldest to divorce care with her, even though it was my week... After she said they would be home by 8:30PM I said yes. They did not get home until 9:40PM that night. The following week with me she asked again to take the girls, but I had to say no because the kids stayed out so late.

Some fact, I do work on the computer from the time we get home to about 5:30 when I have the girls, this is my arrangement with work so I can stay home with the girls. The porn on the computer old news, I think its WW telling the kids that I have viewed porn before on the computer, the few things that my daughters have seen on the computer have been POP ups or wrong wed addresses that are stuff like Sports illustrated bathng suits issue, not hard core porn..... They are young so they think bikini's are porn. The pop up issue was immediately fixed, the computer they used didn't have a pop up blocker.

My oldest has braces now, she has constantly not brushed her teeth in the morning. When with mom, I insure they are brushed when they are with me. Now today I asked if she brushed her teeth she tried to deny it (lie to me) but she eventually told me that she didn't brush them.... but her and her sister had enough time to go outside and play on a rope swing in the backyard.

Grandma is picking up the kids today and taking them back to WW's house, I am picking them up there from grandma. at 6pm for our dinner night, The last 2 weeks when it was WW dinner night on Monday she had to cancel because she worked til 9PM. I let her make up one night on a Tuesday but the girls would have rather not flipped flopped so much. So i am going to be consistant with their schedule

viking,

You're a better parent right now than she is.....you don't have to prove it....and if you try....it will only hurt the kids. She's a mess and you know it. And guess what? The kids know it too....they're already trying to "protect" her....you can see that, right? If you don't make them feel as though she needs protection from your criticism....they'll see her more clearly.

((((((((((((((((((((viking))))))))))))))))))))))

I agree for the most part but should All I want is the best for my kids I don't want them, I am their father and would be happy to have them 100% of the time, giving her free access to them when she wants. Her notion is that I should fall off the face of the earth.

She said it several times today that she wouldn't ever come back to me, I am horrible... I just simply said that I don't want her back.

viking,

She's messed up....and it's easier to blame her awful choices on you then to face herself. So back off....and leave her to face the natural consequences. The real challenge is the co-parenting at this point....but hopefully, you can do that with as little contact as possible....because right now, this is a toxic situation.

I'm sorry you're hurting.

I am not hurting I am just checking myself to make sure I am not too sensitive, do my kids not deserve the best from both parents and if one parent isn't capable or willing to do the best for them, shouldn't the other fight for the children's welfare. I have court tomorrow, I have this spring loaded with my lawyer, he thinks its in our best interest to bring it up. I am just wanting to know if I am hypersensitive

No....I don't think you're hypersensitive at all. And if you can get more custody...you should. I agree with your lawyer. If you can get custodial parent status...you can better serve their welfare. I don't think you're off base. Come up with a good parenting plan and schedule to meet their needs.

"Am I too sensitive to WW actions?"

If you are asking the question you probably are.

I don't think I am Jim, but at the same time I am aware that BS are sometimes oversensitive to every little detail around the WS and their lives, I am just checking to make sure that wanting the kids live to be as good as possible isn't too much to ask, even when considering that both parents have both the right and responsibility to be involved.

Vik - that right there shows what kind of father you are. Too sensitive, not sensitive enough - whatever, as long as you keep the above thought in mind you will do well and give your kids the best father they could ask for.

Best of luck in court

so i just talked to my lawyer and from a court perspective it wont be heard until probably mid summer, when we finalize custody.... The current issue in front of the court is property, which I have offered up all our physical property to her so that she can have something to start with, and my stock and bonuses would be left to me to pay for kids schooling and activities.

sorry to threadjack - can't remember from your situation but did you have to do any mediation? How about dealing with a guardian ad litem?

Just trying to plan and get ready for my stuff.

yes we did mediation... no guardian ad litem just yet

Here is an interesting update

So this week since the kids are at WW, I have them for dinner Mon and Wed

On the way home I had this txt message exchange.....

WW - " Dinner tonight? All of us!"
ME - " I would love that what time and where"
WW - " J needs to use the computer
ME - " Then the girls can come over I am not sure it is a good idea the night before court, I would like to know why the change"
WW - " Because u ask all the time"
ME - "U can Call me"
ME - "True... this was something I waited a year to hear... I think its best for the girls if just pick them up

I pick up girls and my DD11 gets over to my place and is a complete monstor just disobeys and disobient to high heaven. I say if you can't act like your suppose to then you can go back to mom's.... she then says she hates me and that I a jerk. I have her pack up her stuff and calls her mom who gladly comes over and pick her up.

The other two stay and we have a good time and eat breakfast for dinner

I sent ww this page
ME - "Thanks for posioning her only things you have said came out of her mouth."

The girls said Mom went out with girl coworkers to the bar saturday.

Okay input analysis 2x4's

bump

So I had issues last night with my oldest and I sent her home to WW because of a sever behavioral issue, but my two youngest informed me that they were bit by the neighbors dog at their mothers house on sunday, DD (9) has a severe bruise on her left side under her arm, DD (6) has a bit mark on her upper leg, that broke the skin. I asked WW this morning why I wasn't informed of DD9 bite.... she called me (think in fear) and told me aboutDD6's bite as well and has said she has called the doctor since it did break the skin.

WW called me this morning being nice about telling about the dog bites, she started out with well why can't be nice, my lawyer is divorces and they get along and they go away on week trips... I said I want what is best for my family and we will be a family or individual parents.

This morning I only talked to the two youngest, oldest is still mad at me, they made sure I knew they made their bed, ate breakfast, and brushed their teeth.... This is all due to a conversation I had with Jennifer, and she obviously said something to the girls that made then tell me all that in the way they did.

She called and contradicted her story about divorce care, she said the girls told her that separately from divorce care, but that is not what she said yesterday.

oh I think the last conversation we had this morning she was in her lawyer's office and most likely recorded... I was very pleasant. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

So...remind me why you're expecting your WW to be anything EXCEPT vicious and mercenary at this stage?

Well she wasn't at her lawyers court was cancelled due active calendar.

Now we did go to the doctor because she feared that I might do something after finding out about the dog bite, I insured her I wasn't going to do anything.

I went to lunch with my oldest daughter we hugged each other and we both said sorry to each other. we talked and i realized that I was doing things to DD11 that WW complained about, mostly just being playful with my words that I realize could have been take the wrong way...

After lunch I left WW a message apologizing for my previous behavior.

When at the doctor office DD6 kept asking WW if she could go home with me, broke my heart, but I had to tell her it was mom's time with her.

oh I got word from a WW friend that she is no to little contact with OM, he does call her or return pages and rarely talks to WW. I have confirmed this on her home phone at least.

There are opportunities to meet EN's but I don't want to be a doormat.

WW wants me to get kids trampoline moved to her rental property. I haven't agreed to this but it for the kids but I would think it would enable her to move on and think divorce is easier than marriage

what you think?

Little contact is not NO contact.

These are crumbs, vikingruler. You deserve more than that. Lowering your expectations/requirements at this point is going to be more damaging in the long run. How long are you willing to put up with "little" contact or a "little" dishonesty?

If it were me, I'd hold out for the real deal.


Mys