That title confused me as well <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Here's what I am bringing to the table tonight to hopefully be mulled over and commented on from you guys here:

Them now.

Or really, them ever.

I know some would say why even care. He is the ex now and she will always be the OW to you. You need to move on. Who cares. (I've heard all of this and I am sure many of you have,. too)

But I have some uneasy feelings--issues I guess--that I just want to unload to someone who might "get" it. IRL friends are just not "getting" it. Ii think they think I'm just not moving on.

Okay, so here goes.

Ow is very much in the picture. She as officially met the baby as well now (Probably a lot of where my ickiness feelings are coming from). My oldest (5) talks about her all the time when he returns fromhis dad's house. ALL the time. I smile and act interested, but it makes me feel weak inside. Helpless.

And I know it will more than likely not work. I KNOW THIS. That is not where the issue resides.

Maybe it;s justice. Balancing my faith with what seems to be happening around me. Like some old friends seeing my ex at his new church in his new town far away and them greeting him and hugging him and really caring--hugging him, telling him they love him, etc.

As a Christian that shouldnt bother me. But I selfishly feel betrayed. And I am feeling so guilty about feeling that way. I've cried out to God today. Real tears-the weeping kind I usually don't let fall since they are hard to stop. But I still feel so confused now.

And not even so sure what I am confused about. I say I want good things for him, but I'm scared I don;t mean it.

Would it help if I thought he was really sorry? And wouldn't really sorry involve her never being a part of his life again?

And what about grace? Am I lacking? Am I unable to see what God can do? Not for us, but for him? for her?

I don't sit around and analyze this all the time. But today has been such a HARD day. Words like justice, forgiveness, they're so real to me. I thought I was doing great. I feel like I'm being stretched, and I don't like it at all.

And since I can be honest here and feel anonymous and safe, I feel so alone. I couldn't even open this site for the past week like I've done daily for almost two years.

This is the slime your XH & OW threw on you ... and as you carefully wipe it away and recover yourself, you find small bits of yet more slime, stuck in places where you did not see slime before.

God does not call you to love this slime they threw at you ... but, God calls you to refrain throwing slime back at them

YOU will recover

Pep

Pep is right. You will recover, and have the grace to realize that to think about justice and forgiveness. Ex and the homewrecker continue unfazed. But it won't last.

You are loving your son by letting him talk about the OW, and feeling free about it. You are a stronger woman than I.

((((((((((((Intexas))))))))))))

Healing doesn't take place overnight. It takes a long time. A LONG TIME.

I don't know that we can forgive right away. I think it is ok to remain open to it. But to realize you can't do it right away.

Pep is right. You will continue to find slime. And you have to deal w/ it as you find it.

My x has been gone for many more years than your. Occasionally, I still find slime. I hate it when that happens. But every time I let some more go, I feel better about myself.

You're doing a good job. Just remember that.

i am sorry you are hurting. today any better?

DITTO!!!

you should feel really good about that. maybe that can help you offset the bad.

{{{{InTexas}}}}

I know exactly how you feel. My little boy and step daughter just got back from a cruise (1 week) with my ex WW and OM (yes he's still married!). I see them getting married as soon as his D is over. It will not last of that I am sure but they are all each of them have left (I have custody of our son and step daughter despises mother on some level for what she's done to her life). They have to make this work as they have given it all up (he has given up his entire family save one who's ****** off him and will be broke when this is over at 58 years of age). They have to try and make it work or it will be what every one told them it was going to be when they started.

I try and focus on me and my son and step daughter and leave the infidels and their outcome to God. That's the best you can do sweetie.

Hang in there!