Was she stalking you?

No it has not been exposed to her husband. I know him and I'm afraid of the ramifications if he finds out. I know it's been said a million times that he needs to know, but I truely feel like I'm backed up against a wall on this one.

I don't feel like she was stalking me. I truely don't understand her motives for what she's done!

You need to toughen up wowzers. You are playing way too nice.

Mel's advice about what to say to HR is very good. Also Lexxy's on asking for a leave of absence.

Companies do not like to lose supervisors.

You are being raped every day and your main concern is being nice, as weaver said. WOWZER. You have to defend yourself. STOP THIS.


OMG! No, you are not backed up against a wall. You need to call the man TODAY and tell him. You are doing nothing more than protecting that little ho and enabling her to come back and pursue your H or someone elses. Stop helping the OW at your own expense!!

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?? Because I honestly can't tell!

What ARE you doing??

Wow,

You said that you live in a small town and that all the people in your office knows about the A. OWH doesn't know right now, but don't you think in time and being in a small town that he will learn of this?

Also you don't know why she is working at your office. Maybe she is trying to be you. Maybe she would love to be your H wife. When my wife was wayward she told me that she wished she was OMW. Just a thought.

Your employer has some responsibility for YOU, wowser.

First of all -- are you in a "at-will" state? If so, she can be fired for any reason (or no reason!).

Second: do some reseach on "hostile working environment". Once you have informed your company of your situation, they have responsibility to fix this!

Third: ask for a leave of absence until they have changed this situation.

Fourth: Tell OWH. He has the right to the truth. If she is really so afraid of him, why on earth would she provoke him with an AFFAIR?????? Are you afraid for your husband?

The OW is allowed to play the victim because she has so many ENABLERS. WOWZER, girlfriend, you are at the TOP of that list. Please remove yourself from that list. You don't help anyone in this scenario by helping her hide her dirty secret. Most of all you don't help her victims, you and the OWH.

Okay, you aren't getting this. This woman is insane!!!! She wants to become you. She wants your husband, your job, you hair color, your truck/car brand, your........ She is peeved at not having YET accomplished the first goal of becoming the next Mrs. Wowzer.

Tell idiot, Glen Close, fatal attraction, rabbit boiling OW's husband ASAP! He is a victim in all of this and deserves to know the real woman he is living with. I would also tell my employer the whole story and request (demand) that she not be allowed near me.

I am looking for different employment. But there just aren't much options here now. My H's work offers healthcare but we declined in order to get more take home pay. My healthcare here is excellent. We can't get back on his healthcare until August. So right now I feel pretty stuck in a bad situation. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Not true --
If you left your employment and lost your coverage -- you could join your husbands work plan immediately. That is what they call a "covered event". You do not have to wait until their open enrollment period.

Wow,

you feel stuck b/c you are not doing much about your sitch. Your not sticking up for yourself. You need to listen to these women here and tell OWH about the A.

I agree with the above posts that tell you to have a talk with HR. Explain the whole thing - the whole thing to them.

You need to start fighting this b*tch and you have just the right people here to do that with.

Start taking back your life today.

OK Guys. I'm leaving for a min. I'll get back and respond later. Thanks for all your advice.

OK.. To answer some questions and shed more light on the situation. HR does know the whole situation. They have even gone to the board for advisement, but because of the way the policy is written they are afraid to fire her w/o cause for fear of a lawsuit. I haven't thought about the whole hostile work enviornment arguement though. There are some possibilities there. I don't know why I'm being so nice about this whole situation. Heck, I don't know why I feel what I feel half the time. But I do know that WH and I need to move on with our lives (it's just dang hard to do!).

Now about OWH. He is a jerk. He will make my WH's life a living he!! He is in law enforcement and he will stop at nothing to make our life miserable. I don't think I can deal with him while I'm trying to put my M back together.

It has been helpful to read what everyone has said and everything makes sense, but how do I grow a set to follow through???

I do understand the OWH being an *ss and all, but I think everyone here will tell you to expose to him anyway.

Have you thought about moving all together? Dr. Harley says that sometimes moving to another state is needed in order to avoid the OP all together.

We have thought about moving quite a bit. I think if things get much worse here that will be our next plan of action.

Don't pick Wis - the winters here suck <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Moving would help a lot. There would be no chance of your H and OW running into each other again. Small town and all would make it hard not to run into each other.

Affairee's always make the BS out to be a jerk, or insane, or whacked.

Could he be acting whacko because his W is running around on him? Would he appreciate knowing?

Do you think the OWH would do bodily harm on your H or his wife?

I know what it is like to be lied to. To question you own sanity because everyone is hiding something from you, to question who knew, who lied...

Tough call though, I do understand that.

It'll be interesting what other's thought are on the subject.

The thing is I've known OW and OWH for years. He's always been an a$$. I really don't care what he will do to her. She keeps going back and forth between divorce or not. He's been unfaithful to her as well. And if he finds out I think that will help him make the decision for her.... but I don't think he'll cause bodily harm to her or my H, but I think he will smear my H reputation. Reputation is a big thing in a small town.

Would moving make it look and feel like we are running from our problems??