OK here goes...in August last year my husband went on a business trip, was gone for 3 weeks had an affair that lasted 5 of the last days of the trip, the ow lives less than a mile from us, they didnt know each other before the trip, once they got back i knew something was fishy, i asked he denied, a week after they returned i found a note she left in his car, called her and she said it was not what it looked like, but of course it was, all came out in November...The affair was ened by my husband 2 weeks before actual dday but he did not admit anyign she came out and told so he had no choice, we diced to try and reconcile, things have been going good, but every now and again i have had questions and so has her husband, he and i agreed if we needed to ask anything we would call each other and try to anser the best we could, the ow has to on occasion contact my hubby at work for work purposes, well last week she called and asked if he was going to tell me he said well probably why? she said b/c everytime i call you and she tells my husband we have a bad day, well i was livid, i called her and told her she had no right to ask my husband for favors, well she then started screaming into the phone for me to get out of her life and that if i didnt she would file harrassment charges, i told her i had done nothing to harrass her and there was nothing that i had done that would be considered harrassment, well her response was oh i can make it harrassment, ill go file a sexual harrassment charge against your husband and he will go down! They are both in the military, my husband and ow...she is crazy! What shoudl i do? and the funny thing is she saw my husband the next morning and waved at him! wtf?

I just posted to your other thread. Now I see why OW is stuck in your head. She's not out of the picture. And your FWH is still talking to her. This by itself will be a barrier if not a recovery killer.

NC really is needed for recovery to begin.

I have found that OWs can be crazy. Mine was also in the military. My H is civilian.

I know if you exposed the A to their unit, both would be reprimanded, but they could be ORDERED to stay away from eachother. Your FWH probably wouldn't like it too much, but it would stop HER harrassment. Have you two considered this?

My OW also threatened sexual harrassment charges against H. It was pretty lame considering all the evidence of an A.

Have you two written and sent a NC letter to her? Stipulating that she only communicate business with him and that's it might help. Also your FWH needs not discuss ANYTHING personal. If she starts up, he hangs up. Period. That has to stop.

Also, unless the A starts up again, I would cease the contact with OWH and OW yourself. It's time to cut them out of your lives. It just seems like this soap opera that feeds itself. Concentrate on you and your H.

i think you are right about severing all ties with both of them, i hinestly do not believe that the affair is still happenening, my problem is now im not sure what to trust! feels like my instincs are all screwed up! He is so remorseful and is great to me and has really shown he is truley sorry, she has not contacted him but 2 times since dday, but i have talked to her several times, she called me when she was drunk once, and the other times were to confirm suspetions about things, why did i think she would tell me the truth about stuff i dont have a clue! its jsut so hard to trust him now, i mean he should get some kind of points b/c he is telling me when she calls or when he sees her, he says he does not wave back at her or even aknowledge her other than times when she has called and it is work related and he has to, this last time was the first time she has asked anything to do with personal issues, she just told him not to tell me she called. i hate that she thinks she can ask a favor of him and when i called her to tell her to keep me and my familys ame or anything to do with us out of her mouth, she started screaming hysterically about how i needed to not talk to her husband and if i would f*** my husband more often this wouldnt have happened! uggggg!! i paused for a moment and said exscuse me? she said WELL!!! i just simply said well if that is all that you can come up with that is bad about me, god bless ya honey! She was so pissed and started screaming and i hung up the phone!

MW,

OW lie.

They are liars.

Lying liars who lie.

Think about it deeply for just a moment...........

Then understand it fully.

She LIES.

To your husband, in order to get his attention, to make him believe she is the sexiest, cutest, bestest, honey-est sweet person, fabulosoest, hotsie-totsie in-your-face didn't I just make the moon shine today perfect person in the world ........

To her husband, to make him believe NO she wasn't bad it was the other man who MADE me bad, not little old me it was that bad man who just sweet talked me and just made me bad and I never once even knew what happened before it was toooo late.....oh I never told that bad other man bad things about YOU honey my man, you are my real one and only because I luuuvvvv you and that bad other man's wifey, well, she's just telling you lies about me because she hates me and she's a really bad wife you know..........

To YOU, because she has to lie to cover her sin and shame and make you look worse than SHE is just in order to make herself feel a semblance of better than the piece of crap she really is right now.



Don't talk to the OW who is currently in her wayward mode. She is not going to tell you the truth.
She is not your friend.
She is not going to HELP YOU!!!!!

It is her goal to mess up your life.



She looks to be achieving her goal - each and every time you answer the phone and (or call her H), or talk to her.

So stop.


One day, ultimately, we can hope that she will look at her life and her behavior and realize what an idiot she is being. And recover her marriage. But right now, she is a mess. Don't mess with that mess.

"To her husband, to make him believe NO she wasn't bad it was the other man who MADE me bad, not little old me it was that bad man who just sweet talked me and just made me bad and I never once even knew what happened before it was toooo late.....oh I never told that bad other man bad things about YOU honey my man, you are my real one and only because I luuuvvvv you and that bad other man's wifey, well, she's just telling you lies about me because she hates me and she's a really bad wife you know.........."

Bwahahaaaaa, Schoolbus, I think you've got it!!!!!

BWHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

so right on!

2 thumbs up and a double *snap-snap*