My D was to be final any day now but we had a clause in the settlement that needed to be revised. I was dealing with things relatively well until today...

I received a very disturbing e-mail today. I am extremely concerned by this statement made by WH's attorney today, "As indicated several times our client is most concerned with quickest finality to these matters.."

I'm extremely bothered by WH's concern with the "quickest finality" to our divorce. I simply do not understand his need to speed up the divorce any more quickly that he has already. This statement upsets me to no end.

I haven't talked to WH since last June because I entered Plan B when he announced at MC that he was filing. I have the greatest need to plead one last time for the salvage of our marriage. He jumped into the D process almost immediately after I exposed his A. My question is do you think I should contact WH (thereby breaking Plan B) to ask for another chance? I suppose I have nothing to lose as he was and is so blinded by the affair. BTW, I have no idea if the A is ongoing but I'm assuming it is since I haven't heard otherwise, plus it is and was a romantic A.

I value any input you may have regarding this matter.

I supposed I'm getting emotional as the D is so close to being final and the words that WH's atty really triggered some emotions I haven't felt in awhile.

Hi....I know how you feel. I kept thinking that my H must not understand that I really wanted to work things out. That I really hoped we both cared enough about each other to make the necessary changes. That I believed in US. But I guess I'm coming to terms with is that he just doesn't value us, or our marriage. It's not that important to him...he'd rather not make the effort.

It's taken me a long long time to accept this. You have to believe what they are saying in words and deed...

I'm sorry that it hurts so much. But in the end, you are better off with giving your love to someone who will cherish it and want to nurture and grow the love you have between you.

Take care ...sending you good throughts...

If you ask me, no you shouldn't contact him. Why would you go crawling back to him, when he was the one who couldn't stay faithful to you.

The quickest finality may just mean that he is anxious to get the whole thing over with and move on. A lot of people think that when D comes to the end of its life.

Or, he could be like my XW, was married 9 days after our D was final... (2 weeks ago) I wonder if the other guy really knows what a catch he really has after dating her for 3 really long months... can anyone say major baggage.

Don't ask him for another chance, no way. Focus yourself on what lies ahead of you, and don't look back. Who cares if his A is ongoing or not.

If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t break Plan B. In large part because you’re hurting enough already, and the likelihood he’ll say no. Also, I’m not sure what you are asking for. Do you want him to go to counseling again? Do you want to ask him to give up the OW (if she’s still in the picture), do you just want him to delay the divorce?

At any rate, lots of hugs during this time. YOU will be better on the other side of the divorce.