|
|
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 198
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 198 |
Currently, my WW moved out stating the usual reasons, "I need space", "time to sort things out", "try out living independent of you", "maybe you'll find someone else that can make you happy", etc.
In some of our conversations since D-Day, she's made some self-loathing comments like "I'm a failure as a mother and a wife", and "no matter what I do, it's never right". She's also told me that she can't forgive herself for the A.
For the sake of brevity, there are lots of other details I'm leaving out. I'm piecing things together that are making me think maybe she ran away after discovery b/c she's suffering extreme guilt and self-loathing. Could this be a valid reason for her decision to separate?
FWH, BS (me), 43
BS, FWW, 42
DS 20, 13
PAs With W's Sister's Friend & Prostitute - SF Only (me), 1992-93
Married July 1994
Hit On W's Underage Sister & Close Friends, 1996-98
I Confessed Everything, Spring 1998
My D-Day, Jan. 2007
She Moved Out, Feb. 2007
Filed For D 4/18/07 For Legal Protection, Did Not Pursue
FWW Moved Back Home 08/05/07
Status: I'm Not Sure
(original thread of my sitch lost)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140 |
It's true that some people would rather run away than face the enormous mess they have made. It sounds like that it what your WW is doing, at least in part - but never forget that she really "needs space" so she can continue her affair.
In a way, the guilt trip you're hearing is really being laid on *you*. "See, you could never forgive me, so what choice do I have but to leave?" But don't think telling her "yes, I could forgive you" would help - say it if you mean it, but unless and until the fog lifts she'll just find some other excuse to leave.
I'm sorry this is happening to you.
Mulan
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
Currently, my WW moved out stating the usual reasons, "I need space", "time to sort things out", "try out living independent of you", "maybe you'll find someone else that can make you happy", etc. This sort of fog normally means she is moving out so she can continue her affair unhindered by her pesky husband.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,632
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,632 |
[quote] [Currently, my WW moved out stating the usual reasons, "I need space", "time to sort things out", "try out living independent of you", "maybe you'll find someone else that can make you happy", etc.
/quote]
Ever hear that old breakup line: "It's not you,, It's me?"
You, sadly are hearing the same thing from your WW. "Time and space" around here is codeword for I need time to have my A without your interference.
If your WW were truly guilty and remorseful, she would be staying put and trying her damndest to make amends, and help you find a way to forgive her. That is not the case here and you need to be very aware of this.
You'll be yet another in my prayers tonight.
All Blessings,
Jerry
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
477
guests, and
91
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,040
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
