My WH and I had decided to work things out. So, we had a discussion about things on Friday. He told me that I just was not there for him when he needed someone and that she was there. That if it was not for her, he would not have wanted to work things out and that if it was not for her, he would not have wanted to start church with us. That she helped him find his self again. So, what am I supposed to think about that? If he is so sure she saved his life so to speak then why does he want to work things out with me? He says that I should not blame her and that it was him. I don't blame her completely, but she has a part in the A or there would not have been one. He says that everyone thinks that she has he in a fog or something like that and that is not the way it was. That he did and does what he wants to and that no one made him do anything. Well, I would agree with that, so why bother with me anymore. Sounds to me like he has the perfect woman with her, so why bother with me? I just wanted some comments on this and see what everyone else thought about it. I am not giving up, I am just trying to understand why he wants this to work if he has her to fall back to. It makes things easier to handle if you know that someone else will be there for you. But I don't have that and why should I give him everything I have inside if he is not going to do that for me. I feel like if he has her to fall back on, then he will not try as hard to make this work. Am I just crazy for thinking this?

Thanks,

He is still wayward in his thinking if not actions. That crap spewing from his mouth is Bull Dung.

Others will comment later.

Sounds like bovine scatology to me too.

Problem: You weren’t “there” for him.

Answer: Where, dear WH, did I go that you couldn’t find me, and why was it impossible for you to attract my attention to this nebulous “something” for which you needed me to “be there.” (BTW, why is it necessary for me to always “be there” for you? WH, don’t you have enough self-discipline, moral integrity, and honesty to keep you from making bad decisions?) Also, dummy, I was a little distracted by being pregnant with your child while you were sniffing around after your own cousin’s wife.

Lady, be careful about accepting crap like this from your WH. It’s clearly an attempt to rationalize his unacceptable behavior and minimize his own culpability for that behavior. In short, he doesn’t want to take the responsibility for being a complete jerk. He made the decision to engage in inappropriate conduct at a time when his support of you should have been at its greatest!

JBT, don’t let him use psychobabble nonsense like that on you. What he’s said is meaningless and is little more than a pathetic attempt to deflect criticism of his performance. The fact is, he (and he alone) is responsible for cheating on you and the children.

If you and he aren’t in couples counseling with an experienced, pro-marriage counselor, JBT, I suggest you find one quickly. If you can, get one of the MB counselors, such as Steve Harley, to do some phone counseling with the two of you.

Good luck.

He's looked into the mirror,, didn't like what he saw,, and therefore decided it must of somehow been all your falut!!!

Don't but into this line of crap....

All Blessings,
Jerry