Just received 2 calls from my WH.

I answered the first one before I realized it was him...he says"Well I just want to tell you congratulations. you got everything you wanted, so good job." then hangs up.

I was dumbfounded because I had no idea what he was talking about. I have not rec'd my copy of the court order yet.

While I am talking to others to find out why I received that call and what it was about, I called and found out that the orders basically require him to give me half of his salary!!!

While I am on the phone finding this out, I guess he called and left a VM saying:

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that I am probably going to get fired for this. I can't afford to pay that much. I don't know what to tell you. I guess you're going to have to take me back to court and try to get blood out of a turnip."

I know he can't get fired for that, but I think he might quit just to be spiteful.

The amount he is going to have to pay is the amount I told him he would probably be paying back in November. He just didn't believe me.

I just hope this is an angry outburst and a dose of reality, because I really don't want to continue living on the budget I am on...and I really can't keep going on much longer anyway.

Just wanted to post and vent!

IHC

GREAT!!!!!! A big ole dose or reality. I love it when the WS gets one of these be it financially, custody, etc.

They truly believe the rules don't apply to them hence their affair and justification for it. Well it appears that the Judge decided that the rules did apply to him. Ignore the idiot and let him self loathe, complain, gripe, etc. ****** he may have to take an extra job. He should have thought of that while he had his pants unzipped for a wh*re, OW.

Good work IHC!!!

Why would he get fired? I don't quite understand this part. As for the orders, well, he has many children to take care of, has this not occurred to him? DUH. Poor baby.

Now, if he QUIT his job, how likely would it be that OW would like that? Not much, I would think.

I plan on making an appointment with my lawyer to discuss the most recent developments with my WH. I am going to lay down the entire timeline of the events of the past two years and get her advice on how to proceed (when I'm ready, should *I* file with reasons of adultery and abandonment, etc. and so on). This will push our D date back another year, but what do I care, I've got time. I'm trying to ensure the best settlement for my son's sake. I don't think we should be forced to move as long as we need the use of the home. I'm going to fight for that.

IHC,

Sorry I haven't been following your situation, but I am very curious to hear how you got WH to give you 1/2 his salary.

I am in court proceedings now, and WH is flatly refusing to give me enough I need to survive on. He says he just can't swing his apt., expenses etc., and then pay me too. (even though he has OW living there and helping him pay stuff) He has agreed to some alimony and the required child support, but that's it.

My lawyer said that the courts frown upon the wife asking for EVERYTHING from the husband. I'm just asking for enough to survive, but it's looking like he will win.

Cat,

Don't know for sure but it could be that there are little to no tangible assets/property to split and therefore the salary is the only means of compensating IHC OR it could be that CS and Alimony are all included in that 1/2 salary.

You need a meaner lawyer if he can't see the difference between surviving and asking for everything. I would get other opinions if I were you.

Thanks Hope,

I thought I had a bear of a lawyer, but the courts can make me sell my house if I keep complaining that I don't have enough money to live on. If I didn't have such a huge mortgage I would be fine with the offer he was offering me, so the courts will view that. I can't move right now. My kids are going through he## as it is. Moving would tear them apart.

WH has a very good job. Makes good $$$, but the courts state that they can't leave him with nothing and give it all to me. He's crying poverty.

I'm so tired of all of this. I just want it to end!

catgirl,

It is beautiful... California just has a formula for how much a person has to pay...based on time each child spends with each parent, and income.

So, it endedup being half his take home amount!!!

That's great if he doesn't quit...

silent,

It's funny that this is the reaction he is having.

Especially since I have been so calm toward him in the interim when he was barely giving me anything. I never called and asked for money or anything.

He will hit the roof when he gets the other info I am sending his way re the kids and their overnight plans...

Makes me want to wish I lived in California!

Maryland is what they call an 'equitable' state. That does not mean everything is split 50:50, so things like adultery/serial adultery/abandonment, etc., can factor in on what you are awarded in terms of a D.

IHC,

First, I'm glad to hear that for once the courts got it right and gave the children the support they deserve.

Second, I love to hear it when a WS gets a big ol' heapin' helpin' of reality. So often they think they get to keep all their money and the house and all the stuff AND get the OP...and the BS gets to babysit the kids and live off of nothing. Nope. Just being realistic, not demanding or mean, WS...it's easy...there's a formula. Plug in your salary, plug in my salary, plug in the kids and when they're with each of us...and voi la! It's just MATH! Not a BS being mean. Nope.

Here is reality. The WS had a partnership with the BS and from that, responsibilities were created. In real life, the WS can not walk away from the responsibilities scott-free. It never, EVER happens.

Sooooo...heehee (evil CJ laugh) I wonder how happy OW is going to be living on HALF his salary? You know, she could have done the math too and realized that's what he'd bring home. Huh...too bad !! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Your somewhat sarcastic friend,


CJ

P.S. BTW, I think one of my FAVORITE babbles that I hear from WS's is "How am I supposed to live if I have to pay that much support?" "Huh (shrug)? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> I don't know. Same way you expected me to live with no money AND care for the kids I guess." heehee <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Oh, and our state has a formula for child support, so that part is a no brainer.

Congratulations! That's great news.

I'm a bit worried about the formula in California thing, myself.

Faithful,

That's what is happening to me right now. WH will let me keep the hosue, but not give up his interest in it.I would pay the mortgage, bills etc., but WH won't give me enough alimony to keep it up. He gets what he wants and like you said I get to babysit the kids and live off nothing.


I personally think this whole legal system is a joke! They ask how much it will cost me to live. I tell them. Then WH cries poverty and it's "even though you need x amount to live, WH says he can't pay, sorry!

Where I live CS is calculated according to income. Just plug in the #'s.

Alimony is not.

Oh, no, alimony is not calculated here, either. Since WH and I make, basically, the same income, I, too would have to take over the mortgage myself, and he would, probably, still have remaining interest in the house, if it were sold. I don't plan on my H being any help after D, unless I can get the courts to award me some alimony, I'm on my own.

Meanwhile, WH does not have a mortgage, he pays child support and goes about his merry way with a two income household. We'll see; WH claims that he will be finding his OWN place, not living with OW.

with no children, and we make about the same

i got exactly zero

i took over the payments for everything

i bought him out of the house

but he went and bought himself a new one

he did actually walk away from all of his responsibilities

and rode off into the sunset

The only reason mine is so high is because of having 4 kids. The spousal support of it is less than 100 per month.

sdg,

Go online and google child support calculator...they have free ones that give you a basic info form to fill out and it gives a general calculation of what the support will be. Mine was pretty accurate for 4 kids, and the time split between us.

Mine is riding into the sunset and finding out that the sun burns!!!!!!

IHC

it is jst so unfair though that my H was allowed to just pack up and walk away

just because we didn't have children

doesn't mean he should just be able to erase the life we had together

like it never exsisted at all

What really sux is that our state only will allow WH's income to be calculated for CS and alimony, even though he is getting the benefit of OW's income. That's why he's crying poverty on his income, but I'm sure OW is contributing to the hosuehold, thus he lives with 2 incomes.

I'm a SAHM.

Catgirl, if you were/are a SAHM, the court should take that in consideration. My former boss divorced after 18 or so years and he had to pay his ex' rent for two years and also pay support until she could acquire some skills to be on her own. He stayed in the house, made the mortgage payments until the kids were out and when the house sold they split the proceeds 50/50. His wife initiated the divorce. I am in IL.