How long do you think it should be when you stop talking about the affair on a regular basis? We are 4 months out and i know i have asked every question i possibly could, but still find myseld wanting to know more..of what im not sure, my husband answers everything i ask...is it time to just stop?

when YOU are ready, it will stop. you can keep a lid on it a little. for instance, if you want to ask him something, wait 1/2 hour. if you still think you need to ask then ask.

Hi there,

A suggestion for you: try to keep your posts to one thread. Out of 13 posts, you have started 6 different threads. You can change the title by going to the first post on the thread and editing the title.

I am not saying that to be mean, just that it would make it much easier to follow your story on one thread instead of hopping around <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

4 months seems like an eternity to you, but it is really not very long. There are times in recovery that it seems harder. 6 months and 8 months were hard.

Are you seeing a counselor? Are you on an antidepressant? Both of those might be good ideas for you.

Try writing in a journal. It will really help you. Write out your fears, your frustrations, your anger, your grief. . . whatever.

As for questions. Why not write them down. Wait a week and then re read them and ask the question if you still really need to know.

One thing to focus on is making really good new memories with one another.

Hang in there

Or, reserve one day a week, and 15 minutes or 1/2 hour for "question time", and get it done in that time, or wait till the next week. That way you both know the rules going in, and nobody gets broadsided.