You Know You Drink Too Much Coffee When...

source unknown


· You speed walk in your sleep.

· You answer the door before people knock.

· You sleep with your eyes open.

· You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.

· You ski uphill.

· You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

· You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

· The only time you're standing still is in an earthquake.

· Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

· You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.

· All Your kids are named "Joe."

· You Don't need a hammer to pound nails.

· Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

· Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet n Low.

· You don't sweat, you percolate.

· You've worn out the handles on your favorite mug.

· People get dizzy just watching you.

· When someone asks you, "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."

· Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.

· You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.

· You can outlast the Energizer Bunny.

· You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

· You don't get mad, you get steamed.

· You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation".


.

A "Senior Moment" ...


Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.


Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.


One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name!


I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."


Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.


Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?