searched with no luck.

In short, sex was OK before A. WW tolerated it. 2 times a week. (9 months ago)

During lead up (emotional stage) sex was good. 4 times a week and she began to masturbate. This was while OM (MOM actually) was fulfilling emotional needs, and they were sending dirty stories and talking nightware via email links. (6 months ago)

A becomes physical. Sex life dives, 1 time a week with me begging. (add one more time a week with OM, and she was masturbating too). Very unfulfilling. (3 months ago)

D-day. Sex is fantastic! Almost every night. Wife is somewhat uninhibited. The thing is the OM was seriously repressed. Had almost a dozen firsts with my WW. He didn't teach her much. She never orgasmed with OM (trust me.. took me 5 years to figure out what buttons to push). (3 weeks ago --> now)

So now, while little head is happy, big head is beginning to worry. 1) is this normal. 2) What do I do about this. Just enjoy it while it lasts? Question it? I have done "some questioning" and while the answers never satiate the question, they still leave me hurt. So what's the point of asking.

She was always very submissive. She wants to be more in control. Hey, that's cool by me! But at what point to I begin to worry that it isn't "me" with her?

Even though it has only been three weeks, we are doing pretty well. There has been a NC letter. They actually hate each other (or so I am led to believe). They sent us a NC letter. They are moving. Full disclosure (I think - in three parts). Full exposure to just about everyone.

So, what would you do?

I guess I should add that "I" am providing all the EN that OM used to. I stepped up to the plate, and plan on continuing to do so. I guess that could be a reason. But, I am rather trusting, and have just been burned. For those that have been there... what am I looking at?

When I my WW found out about my A years ago, after Dday Sex was awesome but you have to be careful that its not a technique to repress yours or her pain or either of you dealing with the elephant in the room.

The problem is that she will not be able to maintain this drive forever, you need to be prepared when she says no, the first thought you have is she having the A again, it should be a thought but if you develope the communications skills you will know the true reason for the decrease.

After D-day sex was bountiful for us. She claimed it was me "reclaiming my prize" in a way. Perhaps she was kind of correct. I'm not sure.
Though right now, 5 months after D-day it is almost too emotionally painful to have SF. I can't but help thinking of her with OM and stuff they did.
Maybe SF comes and goes in certain stages during recovery. It seems that way with me at least.

Well, it's that way for most couples recovering from an EA. Rock's wife is partially right...it's in a large part about 'reclaiming what was yours'. And depending on the FWS viewpoint, often that's part of their way of reclaiming what was THEIRS.

And given that SF is pretty much an EN for everyone (maybe not their top EN, but still it IS an EN for most people), it's one more way of both filling your spouses love bank and them doing the same thing for you.

My wife and I went through this too...and her EA was never given the chance to become physical. Things will tend to settle down after a while...be prepared for that.

What is a normal period of time to expect to have sexual relations with a WW after D-Day? It's been two months for us now, and we're sleeping in the same bed together again. we just started counseling this week, BTW.

It was around 3 weeks before my fww and I had sex. It was a long miserable time.. and it wasn't all crazy like some people have. It really depends upon the state the the wife comes home in. Mine wasn't ready to come home mentally, but, she was at her deadline with me...so, she had to leave her OM and come home. She was quite upset with me about it all... lol. I'm sorry, but I just can't be compassionate about that whole scenario. Even now, this far removed, I have to just laugh at the audacity of it all.

Sex never really got crazy. So, if it is that way for you now, just enjoy it. Heck, like you said...maybe she realizes what you do have. Enjoy.

I was reviewing some older posts... so much for the 'icyness' following the proposed NC letter? I'm not sure what all happened from the letter you gave her as an example, til now.. but something has turned a bit of a corner. WIthout knowing those details, might I submit to you, that although your letter to her received a very harsh response, it might have been the first time you communicated your true feelings about her actions. The first time you put it in front of her, with her eyes wide open... and maybe it stung a bit. I'm quite sure it did. How have things been since the cool down?