Hey all-I have not posted in awhile..My WH is coming home for R and R next Wednesday to get his things and then leave. I have chosen not to see him and be gone the day he is here. I know its the best thing for me right now but this is so painful. I am in such mourning and have so much grief. Today has been a bad day. 1st bad day in awhile.

Hoping

I have been following your thread for a while, I just wanted to know that you are not alone and you will get through this.

There are lots of people out there who care for you and are thinking of you.

K

Thanks K...I really appreciate that...I really do...I feel very alone...I don't know many people here and I wanted to do something fun next Wednesday to keep me away from the house and to keep my mind off of him being here. But I don't have anyone to spend the day with. I know it sounds like I am having a pity party.

No worries, I am the queen of pity parties <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Wednesday sounds like the perfect day to do something for you. Plan your day and look forward to it, maybe a manicure, movie, visit the gym and try a new class, new haircut? Is there someone from work that you can meet up for a girly lunch?

I find keeping busy keeps my mind of what is happening at home.


Katy

I think I am going to get a massage, facial, and a manicure and then hit the gym and a movie...My mom is going to treat me ; ) Gotta love those Moms

That sounds like a perfect day <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Its good to plan ahead that way you have something to look forward to.

Just take one day at a time and I know you are strong enough to get through this.

Always remember that you are not alone

Katy

Dear Hoping,

Sorry to hear your Ws is still a ....... well a WS. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Still you know his path and plan ahead.

Good that you have a strong support group. My own parents were of no help to me both then and now. So to know that your mom is being supportive is very encouraging.

take care,
L.

Thanks Orchid...and thank you again Katy

Hoping,
I'm sorry you are going through this pain too. It is the hardest thing i've ever been through and this board is my outlet to share my pain. My H and i are in recovery, and i'm still not well.
When i read your sitch i think,"Wow, you're so blessed, not because of betrayal, but because of no kids, a pretty young marriage. If your H comes clear and wants the M you guys have the rest of your lives to do it right. If your H doesn't wake up then you can move on easily. " My kids and a 23 year marriage make it so impossible. I have too much invested literally to quit without a fight. Even when i want to move on i can't, cause i think of the kids, our good times, there are so many years that if i throw out the M i'll have to say those years were a waste. Ouch! That is overwhelming, it seems like a harder thing than living with a loser.
Stay busy working on YOU, that is the best strategy, believe me you'll look back on this time as a good thing one day. The alternative would be to live a lie. It's best to crash early on in a relationship and fix it or lose it before the investment is too huge.
Have a wonderful spa day! You will look and feel beautiful.
Blessings to you,
Healing

(((((hoping)))))

I am going to join your pity party so you wont feel so alone....I am down in the dumps today too......

I am trying to balance my plan B with self care, kid care and overscheduling tasks....makes for a busy life and emotionally I am exhausted all the time, but at least one or two days of the week turn out good...

expectaion of life being grim for a while is necessary, but think about all those things you wish you could have done but didn't have the nerve....those are the type of things you need to do now. I am considering a tatoo(WS hates them) kind of like my own...na na na boo boo!!!

keep posting....there is strength here.

(((hoping)))

Its OK to have a pity party every once in awhile as it is good for grieving. Like others said, try and take the day and turn it into a positive if possible. Make yourself busy.

I truly feel for you as I am going through a very similar sitch as yours.

Hang in there.

VS

Healing, FB, and VS,thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I really needed them. It makes it much less painful knowing that I am not alone. God bless all of you.