I am new to this forum,and have read many great things here
My husband of almost 9 years,been together for almost 12 years,has had enough of our marriage,I am mostly to blame,I did abuse alchol,and then got addicted to prescription meds from my sych Dr.,he thiks there was a affair,which there was not,I was out doing my thing,but there is no way of convicing him otherwise,I did sign myself into detox,and have been in a twelve step program since,and sober
I know what I was doing was wrong,and no he would love nothing more than for me to leave,sign over house and children,the house not a problem,my kids no way,I was still here to raise them,I did not do this everyday,and torwards the end last couple months,it was bad,I am trying to do what is right,he has been going to al anon for over a year,
My thing is I love this man so much,all I ever wanted was a family,we have 3 small children,he says all at once,he does not love me anymore,and can never ever trust me again,is it too late,does anyone think I can ever rebuild this trust again,I know I hurt him,and it hurts me more than he will ever undrestand,right now I am doing what I am supposed to do,because I know I want a better life for me and my kids,but want him so much to be a part of,he is very strong willed and minded,very seldom changes his mind,how can I mean nothing to him now?thanks

Iriffs,
In reading your post I can see a contradiction in your statements. Firstly you admit that you are an addict that can't control herself. Then you say how much you love your family and that's all you ever wanted, and then you say you don't know how your husband could stop loving you.

You love your booze and drugs more than your family. I believe you love your family, but you love the other more. Your husband has stopped loving you because you have given him every reason to stop.

From this point forward get a plan. Quit bugging your husband, get into counselling, get back into re-hab, get yourself cleaned up, consider you marriage over, condider your life just beginning. Maybe at some point, your husband will have reason to believe in you again. But if not, at least you'll be able to believe in yourself.

Bigrocks- Right on.