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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 198
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 198 |
I've been hearing a lot of advice to take care of oneself during Plan A when the WW moves out. Before D-Day, I was planning on surprising my W with a free dancing lesson that a local dancing (swing/salsa) club offers every now and then. This Saturday is the next free lesson, and I'm not sure if I should still go by myself. I honestly would only be going to try to impress my WW at some point in the future if she would ever want to be with me again. But, I also think I should go to learn something new, and maybe have fun, as some co-workers that go dancing have shared w/ me that it's good clean fun.
My doubts for not going is that I may be getting my hopes up too much that a day would come where my WW would come back. I'm also not sure if I should honestly tell her where I'll be Saturday night, as I don't want to give away a potential surprise, yet I don't want to lie to her. Maybe I should save it for if/when she ever returns?
What do you all think?
FWH, BS (me), 43
BS, FWW, 42
DS 20, 13
PAs With W's Sister's Friend & Prostitute - SF Only (me), 1992-93
Married July 1994
Hit On W's Underage Sister & Close Friends, 1996-98
I Confessed Everything, Spring 1998
My D-Day, Jan. 2007
She Moved Out, Feb. 2007
Filed For D 4/18/07 For Legal Protection, Did Not Pursue
FWW Moved Back Home 08/05/07
Status: I'm Not Sure
(original thread of my sitch lost)
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965 |
Be totally honest and tell her, and then go and have a good time.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621 |
I say go and have fun.
When she returns do it again with her.
with prayers,
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 43
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 43 |
SP,
I say go, but go for YOU! Is this something that you would like to learn? Now is the time for you to enjoy life and let everyone see that you are. If she sees you enjoying yourself it may show her what she is missing (added bennefit but not the reassone to go). Go, for yourself...learn something new...have a great time!!!
-BB
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 198
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 198 |
I've decided I'm not ready yet to try out something like this. I would really be going for the wrong reasons, which is to try to impress my WW. I will wait until my W returns, if she ever does. Also, I don't think I would honestly have fun, as not enough time has passed since D-Day, and my mind would be on my WW the whole time.
On a somewhat good note, I did mention to my WW that I might go to this free lesson, and from the ackward silence on the other end of the phone, I sensed a little jealousy. I have not told her yet that I'm not going, I'm going to just see if she asks me about it, and then I'll tell her that I changed my mind.
FWH, BS (me), 43
BS, FWW, 42
DS 20, 13
PAs With W's Sister's Friend & Prostitute - SF Only (me), 1992-93
Married July 1994
Hit On W's Underage Sister & Close Friends, 1996-98
I Confessed Everything, Spring 1998
My D-Day, Jan. 2007
She Moved Out, Feb. 2007
Filed For D 4/18/07 For Legal Protection, Did Not Pursue
FWW Moved Back Home 08/05/07
Status: I'm Not Sure
(original thread of my sitch lost)
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140 |
I've decided I'm not ready yet to try out something like this. I would really be going for the wrong reasons, which is to try to impress my WW. I will wait until my W returns, if she ever does. Also, I don't think I would honestly have fun, as not enough time has passed since D-Day, and my mind would be on my WW the whole time. I agree with this. By all means go out and do things and enjoy yourself, but it's too soon to be doing a sexy dating-type activity like salsa dancing. On a somewhat good note, I did mention to my WW that I might go to this free lesson, and from the ackward silence on the other end of the phone, I sensed a little jealousy. I have not told her yet that I'm not going, I'm going to just see if she asks me about it, and then I'll tell her that I changed my mind. Now *that* is just perfect! You've got the idea 100%! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Mulan
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 81
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 81 |
I'm contemplating the same myself.
my wife loves dancing and I totally suck at it.
I do want to learn for my own social benefit as well but by and large, it is to impress my wife and be able to join her in one of her favorite recreational activities, dancing.
Would that be enough of a reason to give it a green light?
Me FWH - 29
WW - 29
2 Kids; Boy 9, Girl 1 year
WW - EA/PA Nov 2006 - Current (Approx 16 weeks and ongoing)
Me FWH - EA/PA Nov 2006 - February 2007 (Approx 12 weeks, NC achieved)
WW Separated 11 Dec 2006
MC Dec 2006 (About 5 sessions, did no good save for a list of ENs)
Currently working on saving the marriage.
My Ongoing Story of Double Infidelity
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 198
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 198 |
It's totally up to you ophelia, I myself was just not ready to try it out. My head/heart wouldn't be in it, learning how to dance by myself. If your WW would join you, then you should probably consider it.
If my M ever enters recovery or get past the "friends zone", then I'll seriously consider it as an option for one of our dates.
FWH, BS (me), 43
BS, FWW, 42
DS 20, 13
PAs With W's Sister's Friend & Prostitute - SF Only (me), 1992-93
Married July 1994
Hit On W's Underage Sister & Close Friends, 1996-98
I Confessed Everything, Spring 1998
My D-Day, Jan. 2007
She Moved Out, Feb. 2007
Filed For D 4/18/07 For Legal Protection, Did Not Pursue
FWW Moved Back Home 08/05/07
Status: I'm Not Sure
(original thread of my sitch lost)
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