Boxing up and moving Wayzilla’s crap out to the garage was one of the best therapies I have had in Plan B.

I think she believed she could come and get a little at a time now and then. She was shocked when she got there and it was all packed and ready to go. It took me and DD19's boyfriend 15 minutes to load her van and send her on her way.

When she came inside it was all neat and clean and rearranged and redecorated. Like she had never even lived there.

Thanks frog.

Hmmm, I had heard of others getting storage units and putting the WS's things in it, but I don't want to pay for it, or get charged a monthly storage fee when WH does not pay.

I was thinking of telling him to come get it or FORFEIT anything in the house after next week.

SL,

You won't be on the hook. Someplaces offer first month free or a dollar.

So you can let him know where he is paying rent.

So you go to say public storage. Rent a Small Storage space and pay the first month.

If he doesn't pay they keep the stuff in the locker.

Easy.

Here's the kicker Chris, his stuff has been in the garage for months now, since my original forray into Plan B. I bagged his stuff up and put it in the garage. He has piece-mealed this crap out of here, and most of it is still here.

There are things that he listed that he wanted that I would be happy to keep, but in the interest of finishing the LSA, I would like for him to get his [censored] out of here. I feel like I'm being used, and it pisses me off. Whenever I go out to the garage, which will be more and more often as the weather changes and the mowing season takes hold, I have to see his stuff. It's like a constant reminder of how I have coddled WH all of this time.

I actually question myself, is this a control thing? I feel like I'm trying to control my environement, and seeing his things is a part of my environment. Seeing his things gives me all this false, stupid, illogical hope. I feel like hope only strings me along. Can anybody tell that I'm truly tired of this whole drama of 'breaking up'. Pulling little hairs out one by one with the slow removal of the bandage.

I was looking at having a storage place drop off one of their units, filling it with his stuff, and then having them come and get it.

I feel like this is my last step in letting go, and I feel I really need to do it.

And I am sure him leaving them there gives him the sense that he still has one foot in the M. That when he takes the stuff there is a finality to it.

So let him know there is. Make a final date through your A and his A.

Here's my suggestion SL:

I have repeatedly requested that you remove your things from the garage. To date, my requests have been ignored. This is to notify you that anything still in the garage as of April 22nd will be placed in a storage unit with one month's rental and the location of the storage unit will by sent to you certified mail--along with the bill for having to move property that is your responsibility. Thereafter, you can get it from storage or let it go as you wish."

Then, you wait until April 22nd. If he does not get his stuff, you do not pack it all up. You let MOVERS from the storage unit do it and bill him. You arrange for one month's storage at a storage unit, and you send the unit number and the bill to him via certified mail.

The end. His sh*t is out of your life, and if he does not go get it from storage, that is HIS problem not yours. If he loses everything, that is HIS problem not yours.

Move along!



~~CJ

That's why I got rid of it all in one shot. She knew she was picking up some furiture so borrowed a 14' panel van from work. She just was not expecting me to fill it to the roof.

In your situation I like frogs idea. I have seen those cheap 1st month deals too.

No it's not a control issue. If he wanted to leave then he should not be leaving his crap for you to trip over.

CJ, I like the plan. I will have to find out if there is some kind of fee if I cancel, in case WH comes to the house and picks up his stuff.

Frog, you are right. He tipped his hat on this one before I let him come home this time. He said that he didn't know if it was me asking him to move his stuff, but he didn't want that, he wanted to discuss coming home.

Problem was, he didn't fulfill my Plan B liftage requirements, so here we are, with his stuff STILL HERE. I think this will be a violent shove into reality for him. #1--he no longer lives here AT ALL
#2--I have made the choice to move him out
#3--money money money. More money going out.

Since none of these issues really is about recovery, I am no longer conerned about them. It hurts me to know this, but, hey, sometimes, reality bites. I've goten many bitemarks over the last two years to prove it.

silent...

(Warning: SARCASM ALERT)

Why are you making your WH get his things...don't you know how hard this time has been for him? Why are you expecting him to do stuff that you always do for him? Man, you are so cold!!!

LOL - they can never get their head out of the butts long enough to see reality and what they need to do in it!

I am sorry you are so down right now. I know it stinks! But you are strong and you will be back stronger than ever...I believe it!

(((((SL))))

IHC, I am waiting for karma to come around for me. I'm ready. I have been doing what I think is right, not hurting others along the way, helping where I can. I have made some good, new friends (good karma coming around). Now, I need something big. I need my heavy heart to lift up with my breath and not fall. I need to let go.

I hurt, and I want to stop hurting. There is no miracle. I can be busy from sunup to sundown, and have a great day, but the underlying feeling is sadness. It's not the meds, or lack of exercise. I get out of bed, and I interact, and laugh, truly laugh, with others, and I do feel joy in some moments.

My DS brings joy to me with every smile and laugh, but the undercurrent is still there. It's strange, and unsettling. I don't want to live like this. I have said this before, and hope someday that the feeling will change, but I feel like I've lost an apendage in some horrific accident. I'd like to not feel like this anymore.

(((((SL)))))


"I choose life!" - Sid the Sloth from Ice Age

Thanks, friend.

I think what I am feeling today is the product of just needing a lot of love.

I'm kinda tired of being so grown up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

SL,

This too shall pass. My FWW tells me that is an AA saying. LOL.

It will. I think everyone should aspire to have a great life. My point is nobody deserves that. Nobody is entitled to that.

Just like nobody deserves a bad life. They just make it happen in a lot of cases.

If the apendage will kill you sometimes it is necessary to remove it. Then you look and say I wish I still had it but if I kept it then I would be dead.

There are great people out in the world. You hold value, lots of it. Don't undersell yourself. Just because not everyone sees how valuable you are doesn't make you less valuable.

If you have ever watched the Antique road show, no I am not calling you an antique, people walk in with a thing a ma bob they bought for 5 bucks at a garage sale and it is worth like 100k. Just because the original person didn't know it wasn't worth 100k didn't make it so.

I always want to see the Antiques road show have an episode where they find the person that sold it for 5 bucks. LOL.

That would be like your WH.

Thanks Frog! That was a good post. It helped emmensely.

silent,

I know the feeling and it feels so freeing when it lifts. I feel like I can breath again...like I am truly alive. This is not just since my decision, but over the last month or so..

I cannot remember the last time I felt like this...it was a very long time ago...but I am so glad to have it.

I know that your time is coming...and it will be amazing when it comes! And that you soooooo deserve it.

IHC

SL-

Where did you meet that Frog guy was it on teh corner with Mrs. W? I hear it's a popular spot...I think weaver was there too! It must be the spot where wisdom is handed out?!?!?!

LOL

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Frog, that helped me too today!

I agree with the rest of the lot...you DESERVE it...in due time...in due time...

Oh, how I hear you. It's so unfair and wrong and hurtful. But you know that good things are ahead. You *know* that.

Your post was great, Frog.

(((SL)))

(((((((((silent))))))))))

I hear you loud and clear.

and speaking of karma....don't forget that what goes around comes around....I wonder what crap the WH is going to come upon:)

yours is coming.....keep believing....don't let anyone steal your peace.

Frog.....great post....good for all the bees!!

Thanks everybody. It was good to get all of that crap out of my head yesterday. It was a down day.

Luckily, I had my DS here to cheer me up with his smile.