I took my wedding band off last week and sat in on the dresser.<P>My wife came over Saturday to help me sort out the kids winter clothes. We had a good time.<P>When she left I went into the bedroom and noticed her wedding band and engagement ring stacked neatly on top of mine.<P>Sad, don't know if it means anything. but it was sad.

OH, Paul, I'm so sorry. I know how much it hurts to see H's lying on our dresser. (I still wear mine.)<P>Don't know what to say. But my thoughts are with you.<P>Lori

Paul,<P>I have a thought. Put your ring back on and ask wife to come over for something. Then give her back her rings and ask her to wear them. Maybe she only took hers off because she saw that yours were off or yours on the dresser. I may be out in left field on this one but, it was my initial reaction to your post.<P><P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

Paul,<P>I agree with Samantha... put yours back on and ask your W to do the same. <P>Even if she won't... keep yours on as long as you want to work on your marriage. It's only a ring, but it carries a powerful message. <P>PS: Sorry you had to see her rings like that. It would break my heart too <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Paul - I agree with Sam and n_b. Maybe she only did that because she saw yours and thought you were giving up.<P>Don't despair - I believe my W pawned her ring (for 50 cents on the dollar) to pay for plastic surgery to please OM. That hurts.<P>Put yours back on (if you can psychologically) and give hers back to her. See what she does.

Paul,<BR>It's me again, How sad, I had a wedding ring bed spread on our bed when all this came down. Yep, took it off, replaced it about one year into recovery, when I started to really recover. We never took off our rings, it made me alittle ill every time I looked at his on his finger though, and that was the arm that lay over me each night and held my hand tightly, I'm so glad the lights were off and I couldn't see his ring. When you really get back into things full speed with your wife, I will tell you what we did to get passed the ring thing when our anniversay of 30 years came. Now I love to look at his ring. It was such a special gester!<BR>Almost <P>--------<BR>TIME

Just a side note: She took hers off over a month ago so she didn't take hers off because I did Not really important though.<P>Thanks for the thoughts guys. Perhaps your right on me wearing mine.

Paul,<BR>Go ahead and put yours back on if the marriage is important to you. It's a symbol of marriage and it does mean something. If not to you W at this time it is to you.<BR>I can't remember exactly the time frame but I think it was about 4 months after my W told me she was in love with the OM that she lost my ring. I was helping a friend build a deck so I took my ring off and layed it down by the sink. When I got home it was missing and she could not remember where she put it. I was hoping it would turn up but now since we are going the divorce route I submitted it to our insurance company. To "cash out" on the ring the insurance company would not give me anything for it so I bought a replacement ring...... now I don't know what to do with it. I don't view it as a wedding ring because my W was not involved and she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. <BR>She took her rings off a while back also.....I hate this soooooo bad<BR>I hope so much that your W comes around, my W is so far gone I don't have very much hope anymore.... except that God knows what He is doing and I don't need to know.<BR>Keep the faith....

Paul, don't give up wearing your ring if you haven't given up on your marriage. It is a symbol of YOUR commitment. <P> When my husband told me of the affair he had, he left the next day to spend a few weeks at a minister friend's house. It was so painful to have him ask me to remove my ring, and then he asked me to take his off his hand. We put them in a baggie (with our wedding photos I had started ripping up) and agreed to leave them off until they meant something. <P> After a month, we have agreed to work at saving our relationship. One evening I got out the rings and he said "are we ready for that?" I said "I'm not saying everything is ok and the old vows are intact, I'm just saying I'm not ready to give up on our marriage, will you wear this?" He said "Yes, I'm not ready to quit yet either" <BR>Someday, when he is ready to say AND KEEP new vows, we'll get new rings and have a killer recommitment ceremony and party with all the friends who are going through this difficult time with us. <P>Hang on to hope, keep on Plan A even if she doesn't respond right away. God is on your side!

Paul,<P>My wedding rings are a sign of GOD's commitment to be a 3 stranded cord, that is not easily broken. That is the reason I wear my rings.<P>M4B